New Freaker: Golden Child!

We all know one. A golden child. Identifying factors: impossibly lovable, contagiously happy, angelically pure, but still risky enough to be a stone’s throw away from Tijuana at any given moment. Here is our open letter to America's very own golden child, California:

Dear California,
Y U NO HAS MOSQUITOS? Why is the Redwood Forest level of Cruisin’ USA near impossible to beat in a school bus?! (You know what I’m talking about.) Norma Jean was Castroville’s first Artichoke Queen before she was Marilyn Monroe - DO YOU LOVE THAT? The word "SAUSALITO" earns you 3 style points. You're really pretty and we like you a lot. Stay golden, child, ...and bring back The O.C.

SAUSANEATO,
The Freakerteam

Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Golden Child!!