We woke up this morning with a startling realization.
There are exactly 3 weeks from RIGHT NOW until Valentines day. What does this mean for you? One of the following, presumably:
Unless you are Bruce Willis, and then You Only Live Forever And Ever.
A.) There are 3 weeks standing in between you and Bruce Willis - who is 57 years old and that fact is both phenomenal and confusing.
Google Image decided that Kevin Bacon should be included in the search for "Beautiful Women With Groceries.
B.) There are 3 weeks until you accidentally collide into a beautiful woman, causing her to spill her groceries which you notice consist only of steak & bourbon. You offer your masculinity, she offers her steak, and that's it. Game over. You fall in love forever and the cherubs rejoice.
This is actually very sad.
C.) In 3 weeks, you'll be reminded that you are the Robin in this highfive.
D.) All of the above.
Let's not kid ourselves. Whatever circumstance you find yourself waking up to on Valentines Day (spoiler alert: it's option D.) a single moist handshake or sweaty bottle will ruin everything. So grab yourself, Batman, and your significant otter a LoveGlove and then go watch a Die Hard marathon, because that's romance.