The good-knight saint-patron of freak-magnificence, Oliver-Mellan, is currently doing a project for Indy Mogul which is a tv-for-the-internet-tutorial-of-video-swank. What this means: Oliver is working on a sci-fi short film about an exiled siren (IN SPACE!) and the collection of individuals with twisted motives that are trying to find her.
But wait! That's not all! In conjunction with Indy Mogul, Oliver will be doing weekly videos about the process of making this film!
We have a couple "favorite parts" of this video interview/introduction to Mr. Mellan. The first being his most-eloquent opening line (screech) "AAAH HAAAA!!!" at 1:09. The second being the intimate knowledge of what kind of salad is most likely in the glass bowl slightly to his left. The third? Everything else about this.
OliveOilMuffinFaceMellan: Professional HeeHaw Extraordinaire of Wonder!!! May is going to be glorious.
There is a really fantastic Kickstarter campaign currently crowdfunding for a feature-length documentary ...about crowdfunding. HOW FUNCTIONALLY META!
Capital C is the creation of Timon Birkhofer, a German joy-warrior with familial roots in North Carolina! In this film, Timon (You can call him Timmy, because he probably likes you.) highlights how the introduction of crowdfunding is changing the game of independent culture.
If the finished product is anywhere as delicate and tasteful as his pitch video, it will be the next summer Blockbuster action film starring Vin Diesel. By "summer blockbuster," we mean "independent and informative film communities." By "Vin Diesel", we actually mean "....us."
That's right folks! Take a look at the interviewees that will be showcased in this film! There are world renowned video-game developers, economists, directors.... and then Zach in a Banana suit.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Even though we're sitting at the Big Kid's table on this one, we're still ordering tater-tots ....because.... you're not my mom.
This morning we woke up to the published article on Zach in The Music Initiative! While giving the interview, it never registered that "The Music Initiative" may be a music magazine, and our dear Zach was a little confused as to why his interlocutor was so focused on bands. That should explain why he thought this was an appropriate answer:
What was seemingly was a silly response to has turned into a full-fledged bro-fight here at Freaker headquarters. Little known fact about Justin Mitchener: He loves Zooey Deschanel. He is very protective about his love for Zooey Deschanel. She is a beautiful flower and should not be tampered with.
Justin interpreted Zach's interview response as a very real threat; the skinny blond rascal is trying to steal his girl. He reacted the only way he could: by proving he loves Zooey more than Zach loves Zooey.....
...With a tramp stamp of passion.
Please note that even though it said "Zoo" & then "Zool" for a while, the spelling of Zooey was finally confirmed and Justin's love for Ms. Deschanel triumphed over Zach's.
Congratulations, JMitchener. You win this round of the FreakerDogFightOverDistantCelebrities!
A special thanks to The Music Initiative, without whom we would have never gotten the honor of witnessing such a brutal tournament of masculine vigilance.
The internet is a no-man's land? Hardly. There are kind kings & bourgeois bosses & the lovely ladies of the lan (Ahaha!)
Yesterday, we got the honor and the pleasure of meeting, greeting & freaking 3 of the internet's superstars!
From left to right:
AlishaFreak!
Lauren Freak!
Christiane Lemieux, founder of Dwell Studio
Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, founder of Apartment Therapy
Heather Clawson, founder of Habitually Chic
JustinFreak!
I never knew that official style-stamps of approval existed. It has been confirmed: They exist. Freakers have been Aproofed & Approved by the most stylin' of the stylists!
If anybody ever catches sight of these magic-makers, please give them an enthusiastic highfive and a bearhug. Day? Complete!
Today the Freakerteam is feeling a little bit gritty. We're thrashing around the office screaming British obscenities (like "WANKER!") and headbanging to nothing in particular. We're about to smash guitars and shave our heads (except for Oliver. His mane of glory will not be touched.)
When this alter-ego shows it's spiky face, it looks a little something like this:
Whatever could have induced this onslaught of badassery, you ask?
We were featured on our local NPR station this morning!
For those of you who don't listen to National Public Radio, let us give you a briefing... It is the ultimate achievement of punk-rock. It is so punk-rock in fact, that The Ramones almost changed their name to "All Things Considered" out of punk-rock-respect, but Michelle Norris punched them all in the face (also out of punk-rock-respect.)
This morning we got a magnificent email! Here's a little snippet:
"On Monday, Kickstarter will be on national television. NBC's new long format newsmagazine, Rock Center, is set to air a segment that they taped a couple months ago at 10pm/9 Central.
The Freaker project video has a cameo! Just wanted to let you and the team know so you can tune in. Here's a teaser for the show."
Last Friday, WECT local news covered the Freaker non-Freaker debacle!
Even though we missed the full coverage (we all have to make sacrifices for tacos sometimes), the reporter sent us this very special screenshot of our creep-skillz.
Last week when we found the non-Freaker Freaker on Urban Outfitter's website, we were a little dismayed. This was yet another example of a multinational corporation outsourcing small designer's ideas without permission or compensation.
But then all of a sudden, an army of freak warriors came out of the internet forests and wreaked havoc upon Urban Outfitters and their predatory business practices. Our beating little hearts couldn't contain our love and thanks to all of you American heros. If you contacted Urban Outfitters and we have not already tracked you down and sent you special love-codes, please please pretty please shoot us an email...because we want to cuddle you.
Encore Magazine did a really fantastic piece yesterday that outlines the controversy and also contains one of our favorite Freaker sentences of all time:
"Developed locally by Zac Crain, who is really Zonker Harris from Doonesbury come to life, Crain started making bottle koozies out of old sweaters (presumably the remnants from the sweaters he was tailoring for his dog, Pete)..."
.....
Fast forward a week, and our very own Panda Wine Koozie from Urban Outfitters came to our doorstep! (Clarification: we ordered it. It was not a mercy gift.. although that would have been beyond hilarious.) We've learned alot about how to take small businesses American-made products and make them your own.
Step 1: Make them in China.
Step 2: Charge more than the originals.
Step 3: Make them non-functional. Is this real life?
...Am I doing it right?
There we are. Perfect fit!
And then we figured out it's original purpose. Genius!
Time for the scientific analysis of compare & contrast.
The Urban Outfitter's Wine Koozie found a rightful home AT LAST!
And now a little spotlight to one of our favorite Freaker comments through the ordeal:
Hueman Being: "and lo, the real Freaker descended from on high. Through showers of glitter, sweat, and champagne, our Freakish Savior
has come to redeem our moistened palms and to wipe away the idolicized heathen impostors with choking clouds of awesome.
And the people saw this, and the saw that it was good.
And they feasted upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the breakfast cereals.
Our Holy Freaker Elite then raised his knitted arms and said, "Yay!"
And the people commenced Freaking each other out, as it was meant to be.
And the people saw this, and the saw that it was good.
And they feasted upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the breakfast cereals.
Our Holy Freaker Elite then raised his knitted arms and said, "Yay!"
And the people commenced Freaking each other out, as it was meant to be."
And the people saw this, and the saw that it was good.
And they feasted upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the breakfast cereals.
Our Holy Freaker Elite then raised his knitted arms and said, "Yay!"
And the people commenced Freaking each other out, as it was meant to be."
And the people saw this, and the saw that it was good.
And they feasted upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the breakfast cereals.
Our Holy Freaker Elite then raised his knitted arms and said, "Yay!"
And the people commenced Freaking each other out, as it was meant to be."
And the people saw this, and the saw that it was good.
And they feasted upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the breakfast cereals.
Our Holy Freaker Elite then raised his knitted arms and said, "Yay!"
And the people commenced Freaking each other out, as it was meant to be."
At approximately 11:23 am today, on November 25th, 2011, WECT news interviewed the Freakerteam on the recent revolt against Urban Outfitters sparked by the corporation's production of a Freakeresque rip-off. Words were said and handstands were performed, and The Freakerteam forgot they were being filmed at approximately 11:42 am, and Oliver Mellan hijacked his own interview.
And then The Freakerteam realized that they don't own a television. "We should PROBABLY watch it at Hooters" suggests Justin Mitchener.
Tune in at 5 and/or 6pm to get your daily dose of freaked.
