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Worker's Contract.

We have decided to compile a list of legalities that proves we here at Freaker USA Inc. are pleasant employers and strive to create a peaceful work environment in which everyone feels both productive and comfortable.

First, a quick backstory:

The conclusion of our science shoot (for science!) was quite a success. We tricked our co-workers into signing up for this film by NOT telling them that they were going to be shirtless (Spring Break WOO!) 

As expected, Lauren started blabbling on about some kind of "sexual harrassment in the workplace." So to remind her just how compassionate we are, we changed all of the desktop backgrounds in the office to something that would show how much we love and respect her:

For all of you out there that think this may be discriminatory, let us set the record straight: 

Freaker USA is an equal opportunity employer! 

We show our love & respect through sexual harassment in the workplace to everyone

If you look closely, you eyes will get the honor and the pleasure of gracing Justin Mitchener's throbbing-hot bare chest. We fax things like this. To each other. Equal rights 4eva! 

We here at Freaker USA also .... I'm not sure what to say here. It's pretty self explanatory, actually. 

Freaker USA values it's employees and strives to grant them with spectacular workplace benefits and an unparralled level of personal acceptance. As you can see in the photo above, we fully celebrate all religious and national holidays. Like Spring Break (WOO!) 



So please feel free to send your best bikini photos along with your resume to and rest in the comfort of knowing that we here at Freaker USA will never ever compromise your dignity for crude jokes and cheap thrills. 

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