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Construction-Site Cooties

Are you a girl? If yes, then you can skip this paragraph. Are you a boy? Listen up for a girl-fact stereotype.  Sometimes girls have a girl-guard up when they pass construction sites because, supposedly, construction workers are expected to "HOOT & HOLLER" in a special way at girls.  

I have a theory. Construction workers probably do "HOOT & HOLLER" but it's not in response to how pretty the girl walking by is.  They "HOOT & HOLLER" because their line of work is so accidentally erotic and they are in a constant state of confusion due to the odd yoga moves that their job requires of them. 

Sometimes people don't believe my construction-hoot-theory, therefore I have created a scientific photo-analysis of how accidentally erotic building-stuff can be. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the world premier of my new art series: 

"The Freakerteam's Butt Placements While Building A Trade Show Booth - A Photo Dissertation."

Photo 1: Leigh's Butt. 

Artists Note: This piece is particularly moving. The translucence of the orange in her shorts that so majestically blends into the back wall of our trade show booth represents her spirit (AKA: HER BUTT) becoming one with the construction site. As the artist, I  am using this piece to communicate a loss of selfishness and a perfect union with "building-stuff workers" internationally. 

Photo 2: RimMob Butt Cohesiveness

Artists Note: This piece symbolizes the inevitable union between construction workers on the same project. They mold into one another with the common cause of "Hammering Things." It's an emotional journey of 2 souls, 1 cup. 

Photo 3: Beard Butt 

Artist's Note: This piece is particularly strong. The abstraction of Zach's beard floating through the empty space between his legs represents the hairy spirituality of ...something. If you don't understand why this is THE GREATEST ART IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, then maybe you're just not cut out for the art world.  Move over, Renaissance. This. Is. A. Masterpiece. 

Photo 4: Lance-Butt's Journey Into the Unknown Abyss

Artists Note: This piece really tells a story of becoming one with the HOOTIN & HOLLERIN' that is universal in the world of construction. Fact: This was the last time Lance's Butt was seen before it mysteriously disappeared into the world of Construction Art, thus symbolizing the all-encompassing passion the building-stuff. So passionate, in fact, that he was heard HOOTIN' into oblivion. 

So ladies, I hope if this ground-breaking art series has taught you anything, it was this: They're not hollerin' at you. Construction workers are just in the throes of emotional rapture for their line of work. 


August 18, 2012 by Freaker USA

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