Blog!

We've all been there. At least once. The bigger a fan you become, the less likely it is that your team will win. This one is dedicated to you and holding on to the belief that there is an end zone to your friend zone. TOUCHDOWNNNNN! Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... The Friend Zone!

It's here. It's all here. Freaker Feet socks are here! A completely new Freaker website is here! NFL Players Freakers are here (in Freakers AND Feet!) Christmas designs are up! Black Friday sales? Almost here! Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines. The season of stocking stuffers...it is is here. And you're going to dominate. 

How are you feeling today? If the answer isn't "super," then try again. Ready? How are you feeling today? Super?! THAT'S FANTASTIC. Just for the occasion, we're releasing our entire line of officially licensed DC Comics Freakers! Wonder Woman, Superman, Two Batmans (Yes! Two!), Robin, The Joker, Two-Face, The Green Lantern and Aquaman are here to save the day. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest members of the Freaker Family... our DC Comics collection!

Have you ever seen the water-skiing squirrel? Mice playing trumpets? A cat changing a lightbulb? Pandas on a playground? The surfing goat?! Animals doing human things are more awesome than humans doing human things. This is true 100% of the time. As a tribute to this time-honored fact, we give you Doggie Style. Waggin and swaggin, y'all. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Doggie Style!

Excuses are never cool until they're really cool. Dog ate your homework? What if your homework was exploded by a land mine while you were saving Private Ryan (your dog, obviously) from enemy territory (the neighbor's BBQ). Late for work because the coffee line was too long? WRONG. You helped a sweet old lady out of a building. The building was on fire. And filled with terrorists. Are you drunk at lunch? Don't worry, it's Business Drunk. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Business Drunk!

We're 4 days out from Halloween. We could ramble on about ghost stories and zombie cripwalks, but we've found something scarier than glitter vampires and teen pregnancy (or whatever Twilight was about.) Just 72 hours after Halloween comes a day when the other kind of ghouls come out to play. The scariest clowns of them all. The bloodbath of political campaigns collide on Election Day, and while this year's Election Day is more Leslie Knope-y than it is Frank Underwood-y, it will mark the countdown for an election season to remember. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest members of the Freaker Family... Donald Trunk and Donkey Show!

Guess who's back? Back again. Shady prescription-drug sailor-guy is back. Tell a friend.  Tug Life and Forget Me Now are both back in stock and ready for action! 

  If True Detective has taught us anything, it's that we, as a nation, have some outlandish subcultures. One in particular really stands out as being special. Riddled with soccer, blogs, jeans, snacks, power walking, and box wine, today we salute the cult of moms. Raise a glass and drink that mom cool aid, y'all. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family...The Cool Aid!

Halloween is fast approaching. Don't have a costume yet? You're not alone. Welcome to the ranks of soon-to-be costumes like "Meta," "That Guy," and the 4 people at any given event who show up without pants and half-heartedly say something about "Risky Business." You may not be the most mastered master of disguise, but that doesn't mean that your drinks can't be. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Grouchy Mark!

Do you feel abandoned when you hear updated reports on King Tut? Did you use all of your vacation days to go to Pompeii this year? How many wrap battles have you entered? Empty rest syndrome? Do you find yourself seeking eternal approval from Brendan Frasier? Aaah, yes. You, dear, have a classic case of Mummy Issues.  Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Mummy Issues!

  Do you ever get hit with a case of nostalgia? Memories pop up out of the darkness and suckerpunch you right in the nose? We feel your pain - which is why we're taking a stroll down memory lane today and re-releasing some classics! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the stage 5 previously discontinued Freakers... The Dude - he imbibes. Puffy - asking you kindly to puff puff and not pass him up. Arnold - here to make sure you're ready for the next installation of Predator. Polka Dance - hits the spot. Har har har. Wise Guy - for the goodgals... and goodfellas. We've also added two new midcountry icons to our Greetings From Line. Give a warm welcome to Wayward Son and Gold Digger! That's all, folks.

Holy Yankee Foxtrot - did you know that Wilco Freakers (& Feet!) exist and are longingly waiting for you? #IfYaDontKnowNowYaKnow Find the goods here!