Blog!

We woke up this morning with a startling realization. There are exactly 3 weeks from RIGHT NOW until Valentines day. What does this mean for you? One of the following, presumably:

GUYS! If you're reading this, it means that you have joined the ranks of survivors of both the Mayan Apocalypse and Christmas Madness 2012. Congratulations! We are truly very proud of you, being alive and all. Most of us made it out in one piece, but there were a couple close calls (OF DOOM.) Pictured above is the view from our office window this morning during a tornado watch. Is there anything more post-apocalyptic? (Correct answer: Yes.)

We're in the smile business and feeling a little frisky, so on every order (yep! every order!) we'll be throwing in a free holiday Freaker!* Spread that cheer, dear! Also, there are 24 hours left to order until the post office stops promising to get your care-packages to you before Christmas! Tomorrow at noon, little birds! *(While supplies last! Whoopi!)

We have another new Freaker video to philosophipherphize on you and remind you of the true meaning of life. Spoiler alert: It's burritos. This little clip is actually an accurate glimpse of what life is like when you live in our warehouse 6 days a week. So on that note, welcome to our humble abode. Please, make yourself comfortable. And then fetch me a burrito.

In celebration of Cyber Monday, we want to Cyber YOU with our new holiday commercial! Freak everything! Freak everybody! A/S/L? (Also! We are extending our Black Friday specials for today only! For every six Freakers you buy, we're throwing in all three of our holiday styles fo' free! Put on your joy-hats! Freak the halls!)

Black Freakday: For every 6 Freakers you buy, you'll get all 3 holiday designs for free! I get it. You just waited in line for 14 hours for the new Tickle-Me-Elmo to no avail. I feel your pain. To express our deepest condolences, we want to tickle your elmo with the one gift for your entire family/friend gift circuit! Math class for Tiny Tim! Buy 6, get 3 holiday freakers! Buy 12, get 6, Buy all of them, get a lot of them! IT'S SCIENCE! As an added bonus: we won't make you wait in line for 14 hours in the snow! Grandparents, baby boogers, co-workers, that weirdy wino you know you're related to but can never remember his name... Freak everything, freak everybody! Stock up on some freebies while you're at it! One holiday season to freak them all!

The holidaze are quickly approaching and the countdown to Black Friday is in the less-than-48-hour mark. What will happen?! Who will be freaked?! How will they be freaked?! One holiday season to freak them all!!  We made this video for you as a sneak preview of our upcoming holiday commercial! Beware: A behind-the-scenes has never been so colorful. In all the right ways.

Santa is not your dad. Santa is an octopus. Unless you are a baby octopus, you have been living a lie. When did mid-November get here? The widely accepted answer involves something to do with a space-time continuum, but the real answer is "two days ago when we started filming our Christmas commercial." Here's the behind the scenes look at what it feels like to have your office turn into a Holiday Bling Wonderland!

America's favorite Trickster's Retreat has snuck up on us again. From behind. With a mask of time-trickery and butter-knife. We didn't realize that Halloween was upon us until this fine young chap committed our new favorite act of Freakdom! The bolo, the weirdy smirk, the attention to man-cleavage: all of these details left us in a state of awe and adoration! The most special peculiarity lies in the fact that Zach Crain Jr. dyed Mister Pete Jr's ear to match his living counterpart. An exploding round of applause coming your way, Zach Crain Jr!

Tricksters! Retreaters! Take heed! Come hither! SpookMasterFlex is here!! Introducing: Black Betty! Only 250 have been made of this maiden (bam-ba-lam!) and the damn things gone wild (bam-ba-lam!> She's going to be creeping around on our website for one week only, and then meet her doom next Wednesday, October 31st. Getchu some of that special sauce, while supplies last! Happy Halloween, little spiders!

  Like any good beginning to an Independence Day celebration, we put on our "Hey man, you know that's actually not America but Texas, or Puerto Rico, or Chile...right?" shorts.

Americanflags + Fireskies + Beauties - Beasts x Hotdogs / Gigglefests + ThatOTHERWillSmithMovieAboutAliens = 4th of July is next week! We love cultural mathscience soooo much, but not as much as we hate bottle sweat & moist handshakes that would otherwise be patRIOTic.