Blog!

It's Christmas in July! And it goes a little something like this: Everybody loves a BoGo Got the ladies dancing like GoGo When they see the Freaker logo Use the extra funds for a trip to Togo It's Christmas in July, hoho...ho. And there goes our rap career.From now until Thursday, for every Freaker you buy, we'll be adding in a free Mystery Freaker! Buy one, get one. Buy two, get two. Buy a gazillion, get a gazillion. You know the drill. (Yes, each Mystery Freaker you get will be of a different style! When you don't see the extras on your shipping confirmation - have no fear. We'll be adding them in manually!)

Mayday mayday! Things got a little risqué over the weekend and all of our Baberaham Lincolns were sucked dry. From now until Thursday, we'll be including an Ol' Glory with every 3 Freakers you order instead of Baberaham! Kapish? Kapish!

Stop! Quick! Look behind you! America's favorite birthday party is sneaking up ninja-quick. What do you need to prepare? The basics, obviously: frilly hats, backyard explosives, Mel Gibson, hawt dogs and hot dawgs. And Freakers. An abundance of Freakers. To help you prepare, we're having a sale! From now until the 4th of July, we're throwing in a free Baberaham Lincoln for every 3 Freakers you buy! Buy 3, Get 1, Buy 6, Get 2, Buy a jamillion, get a third of a jamillion ...For freedom!

What do you get for the man who has everything? It's the eternal question... but it's not applicable here. You get him Freakers. Sometimes your dad likes to say that he does NOT have everything, but he has you - so take offense, prove him wrong, grab a bottle of hooch for your old man and get ready to remind him how awesome he is. From now until Father's Day, every pack you buy will come with a free Dad! (Packs with Dad will come with another Dad. Double Dad. Daddy up!) Browse packs here! 

In celebration of dreams coming true, puppies, motorcycles, milk, and the potential to start rap-beef with RiFF RAFF, 1Chainz is on sale! Just use the code NickyNiceGuy for 35% off 1Chainz from now until Thursday night!

Speaking of glaucoma, it's time to weed out our closet. For every 3 Freakers you buy, we're throwing in a free Mystery Freaker! Buy 3, get 1! Buy 6, get 2 and a free Cuppow! Buy a gazillion, get a third of a gazillion... and a free Cuppow! From RIGHT NOW until Thursday night! Go go go! (And yes, each Mystery Freaker you get will be a different style. Keep that suspense up! BOOM!)

As some of you have probably realized by now, Freakers were featured on Good Morning America earlier today! A nice lady said some nice things on a nice little tv show. What this means for you: RIGHT NOW there are 10 styles on sale at 50% off. Right now. It technically ends tomorrow at  noon, but let's be honest: your memory is shot, and you'll forget about this in an hour. So get it while the getting is good. LOVIN ON YOU! 

I'll make this quick. Just to prove that we listen and care about your hissy fits... We're now offering FREE SHIPPING on any order of 6 or more Freakers from now until next Thursday! That is all. NAMASTE, Y'ALL.

I'm going to tell you a fairy tale: Once upon a time it was Black Friday, and for every two Freakers you bought, you got an extra Mystery Freaker for free! In this utopian dream, the fine folks at Freaker USA did not bug you enough. So when Cyber Monday came around, they yelled again and upped the deal even further. For every ONE Freaker you bought, you got a FREE Mystery Freaker! Worlds collided, minds exploded, and they all lived happily ever after. Of course it's only a fairy tale because we totally did bug the $#%@ out of you all weekend. One more time though, for the win. CYBER MONDAY: FOR EVERY FREAKER YOU BUY, WE'RE THROWING IN A FREE MYSTERY FREAKER!! Love you. Mic drop.

It’s here. I don’t even have to tell you what. Everyone waits. Everyone knows. Let’s get to it: STARTING NOW: For every 2 Freakers you buy, we’re throwing in an extra mystery Freaker. Buy two get one. Buy ten get five. Buy a twelve million get six million. For free. It’s madness. It’s chaos. It’s Black Friday. Let’s party. (Fun-town details: We’ll be packing in your extra Freakers manually, so don’t be rattled when your order confirmation doesn’t mention them. You don’t get to choose your mystery Freakers, but we promise to give you a good assortment. Everything is awesome, now go spend all of your money.)

We like living on the edge. Evidently, so do our elected officials. (See - they really are representative!) When the government went into shutdown-mode last week, we expected to see more unruly riots, more bankers headbanging to The Sex Pistols, more utopian gardens. Any anarchic fantasies we had were quickly smashed like the windows in our dreams. A week has passed.  It's officially time to take matters into our own hands and make an ultimatum with the American people - from now until the government turns back on, 9 select styles will be on sale! Because that is what true anarchy looks like, y'all.

Most of us are from The South. This seemingly small detail is actually a pretttttty big deal when it comes to important issues in our national conversation. The cultural divide has been historically vicious. Entire wars have been fought over how to properly prepare tea. The Grits-Rights movement turned radical. And who can forget that military coup against Dolly Parton... but let's set aside our differences and focus on what unites us as a nation: a good sale. That's why we're celebrating the first days of autumn with a sweet-tea deal for you: For every 3 Freakers you buy, we're throwing in a free Yonderdown! (A homage to another southern specialty: "talkin' funny.") AND our water bottle deal is still in effect! So if you buy 6 Freakers, you'll get a free water bottle and 2 Yonderdowns! Yeeeeeeah buddy!