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Captain

$9.99 $5.99

Oh Captain, my freaky Captain.



One Size Fits All: For all the curvy bottles your fearless leader will come up against!

Made in North Carolina: We run down to Cape Fear and dip these ones in there before we sell them so it can get it's sea legs up to snuff.

Insulates: You want cold, wet beers, not cold, wet hands.

Machine Washable: This thing can take a beating before you need to throw it in the wash, but we recommend washing it with your regular load of laundry.

American Jobs: I know we don't show a lot of emotion towards you guys, but... We love ya. Thanks for being part of the crew.

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Attention Horse

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Howdy NEEEIIIGGGHHBOR!!!! HEY! HI! WHAT'S UP? HEY!!!!!!! One Size Fits All: Seahorses come in all shapes and color combinations. Whether it's the Dwarf, the standard Yellow, the Big-belly, we designed this particular bottle sock to fit over all the drink containers you might encounter. Made in North Carolina: The Lined Seahorse you see depicted on this Freaker can be found all over. But Freakers are only made in N.C. Insulates: Seahorses notoriously live amongst the grass beds in slow moving water to protect them from predators, much like this container sleeve protects you and your drink from the elements. Machine Washable: We do not recommend washing these in salt water. Regular water does a much better job. American Jobs: While seahorses live relatively solitary lives, humans need each other in order to survive and we love you more and more every day because of it.
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Fairy Tail

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Beach, please. One Size Fits All: This ain't no dinglewinger or a whos-e-whats-e or whatever. This bottle sleeve is one of a kind and should absolutely be treasured. Made in North Carolina: Little known internet-based fact is mermaids were first discovered in a cove along Zeke's Island Reserve. Or so the legend goes... Insulates: It's sparkly and keeps drinks cold. Machine Washable: You'll want to keep this one clean and pretty. American Jobs: Due to overpopulation of human-consumable fish, mermaids have slowly declined in population, placing them on the endangered species list for mythical creatures. Every purchase goes towards helping keep the dreams of mermaids alive.
Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart
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Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart

Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart
Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart
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Turtle Eclipse Of The Heart

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-One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!  

Jelly Good Fellow

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You jelly, bro? -One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!  

Lumbersmack

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Because bottles need plaid shirts too... One Size Fits All: And we mean it! Made in North Carolina: Where plaid is an official uniform of the people in some parts of the state. Insulates: And keeps drinks so cozy. Like, way cozy. Machine Washable: Just don't put it in your red plaid shirt or you may never find it again. American Jobs: Pure American Jobs.
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Queen Bee

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Show me the honey.  SHOW. ME. THE. HONEY!   -One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!  

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...crazy mothafreaker name Bigfoot -One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!

Conservation Nation

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Right on, rhino friend. Proceeds from your purchase of this design supports Conservation Nation, which gives to Smithsonian projects in the wild.  So personalize your bottle with a disco-loving rhino today and declare yourself a proper conservationist! Click here to learn more about Conservation Nation and the great work they do all over the world! One Size Fits All: This Freaker was designed to fit best over reusable bottles, but it simply loves being treated with care. Made In America: Made locally, shipped globally! Machine Washable: Take it down to the local watering hole that specializes in cloth sanitation. It will hook you up!