Are you a target? Because I miss you a lot.
One Size Fits All: Just like our uniforms, one size, fits all bottle shapes. It just stretches.
Made in North Carolina: This ain’t no galaxy far, far away. It’s in America, right above South Carolina.
Insulates: We’ve not yet tested Freakers at -455 degrees, but we will someday… *stares at binary sunset*
Regular Laundry Approved: Who are we kidding, your Ran-D will take good care of it for you.
American Jobs: If we could give you a huge parade and a shiny metal, we would. All the honors.