The Drinkin' Bros Podcast Socks
$15.99 $5.99
-One Size Fits Most! Bringing unisexy back.
-Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance*
-Machine Washable!
-American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
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The Donald Socks
$15.99
The greatest reality show host turned President ever!!!
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Many things he likes about this state. He won this state. That says something, right. *shrugs*
Machine Washable: Because you will want your Executive socks to look as clean as a Big Mac.
American Jobs: Obviously, Pres. Trump is the only reason the American economy exists. It didn't before he got into office. Correct.
Jarred Taylor
$9.99 $2.99
The one. The only. JT.
One Size Fits All: That face... it says it all.
Made in North Carolina: We don't know what a Tar Heel is, but it's running around right now making this thing just for you.
Insulates: If you like cold beverages, this Freaker will help keep it that way.
Machine Washable: We recommend throwing Jarred in with the "Delicates".
American Jobs: God Bless America. Thank you for buying local. It makes a huge difference.
Caticorn Socks
$15.99
Caticorns can meow in 5 languages
-One Size Fits Most! Men sizes 4-12 and Women size 6-14 - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance*
-Machine Washable! Also hand washable.. but who does that?
-American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Bonnie
$9.99
Freak your partner in wine.
One Size Fits All: No need to resize this fine diamond pattern. It fits over wine, beer, and whiskey bottles.
Made in North Carolina: We said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Protects: Putting this Freaker on your bottles let's the world know you have someone who loves you. We do!!!
Launderable: Unlike that stunning dress, this thing can handle the regular wash cycle.
American Jobs: The best part about this. You don't need three months salary to afford it!
Clyde
$9.99
Freak your partner in wine.
One Size Fits All: No tailoring required for this bad boy.
Made in North Carolina: Went down a rabbit hole googling the phrase "Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome." It's very adult. I wouldn't recommend it.
Insulates: Fits and functions like a suit is supposed to!
Machine Washable: No dry cleaning required.
American Jobs: The materials used to make this product are grown in a field not far from where Bonnie and Clyde were captured in Louisiana.
Dank Nugs Socks
$15.99
We hate to be blunt, but these socks are dank.
-One Size Fits Most! Men sizes 4-12 and Women size 6-14 - Bringing unisexy back.
-Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance*
-Machine Washable! Also hand washable.. but who does that?
-American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Chile Nelson
$9.99
Somewhere between Whiskey River and the road... again.
One Size Fits All: Our buddy Oliver told us that if you put this Freaker on the right bottle, you're 'in the right mindset', and you play your favorite album backwards, it Chile will come to life and start singing. #UrbanLegends
Made in North Carolina: Something about the air here. It's clean. It's spicy. It's fresh.
Protects the Valuables: If you're playing the puff-puff-pass game and your fingres are drenched with bottle sweat, that's a party foul and you get skipped. This thing can save you from that fate.
Machine Washable: We do not recommend putting this thing into a chile roaster. It will burn it, not "sanitize it with heat." Found that one out the hard way.
American Jobs: Thank you for making this happen!
Baberaham Lincoln Socks
$15.99
We pledge allegiance to all the FREAKS!
One Size Fits Most: God Bless the American feet who will fit men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14 shoes. These socks will bless your feet in liberty.
Wash Like Socks: Wash them like normal socks, but dry them by running them up the flag pole and letting the sweet air of freedom dry them out.
What These Are Made Of: What's more American than a comfortable cotton and polyester blend for a sock that will last through Wold War butt-kicking after World War butt-kicking? Nothing. That's what these socks are made of.
American Jobs: American socks, made by American hands, delivered by Americans. I could repeat this one, but I don't think the computers wouldn't understand.
Bitch Please
$9.99
The Make-Your-Own-Freaker contest winner designed by Emily Martian!
One Size Fits All: Fits all sizes of personal beverage containers and laps up the bottle sweat of for paws of all shapes and sizes.
Made in North Carolina: Literally everything about this style barks North Carolina, bitch.
Insulates: Keeps all the water in your dog bowl from changing temperature quickly. Assuming that's what you drink out of. We don't judge.
Machine Washable: Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up.
American Jobs: American Art + American Products = We Love You
Buddy
$11.99
"The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear."
One Size Fits All: Will fit all human sized bottles.
Made in North Carolina: Wilmington is located 3,860mi from the North Pole, as the Reindeer flies.
Insulates: On your trip through the seven levels of the candy cane forest, this will help keep your hot chocolate "melt-the-marshmallows" hot.
Machine Washable: Fun Fact: Elf-sized washing machines can hold up to three Freakers.
American Jobs: While they are inspired by the hard-working elves in the North Pole, these ones are made by the finest folks in the U.S.A.
ELF and all related characters and elements © & TM New Line Productions, Inc. (s18)
Bunny Ralphie
$11.99
"That is the most precious thing I've ever seen in my life." / "He looks like a pink nightmare."
One Size Fits All: You tell this Freaker to go upstairs right now and try this present over every size bottle you can find!
Made in North Carolina: The good people of North Carolina went through all this trouble to make it for you!
Insulates: Every drink you have will be happy to be wearing this.
Machine Washable: A trip through the wash and this will stay fluffy and clean for when Aunt Clara visits.
American Jobs: Original American holiday movie designs? Check. Another year working at a Feakin' great American company? Check. Now go get some eggnog!
A CHRISTMAS STORY and all related characters and elements © & TM Turner Entertainment Co. (s18)
Leg Lamp
$11.99
"Frag-i-lé.... it must be Italian!"
One Size Fits All: If you're the smartest guy in your neighborhood, you know how versatile this bottle sweater REALLY is.
Made in North Carolina: Honey, what is this North Carolina place?
Insulates: Impossible to shoot your eye out with this Freaker. It goes on your favorite drink container.
Machine Washable: Throw this guy in the washing machine, that's the metal box closest to the furnace, with a regular load of laundry.
American Jobs: Buying this for you or your loved one supports a local business. Thank you.
A CHRISTMAS STORY and all related characters and elements © & TM Turner Entertainment Co. (s18)
Hi Sexy Socks
$15.99
This cat wants all your pets.
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Where the cat buttholes are cleaner than other states because our cats are courtly.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable... Can't lick these ones clean though. I mean, we wouldn't recommend trying it anyway, but you know what... You do you.
American Jobs: Meowzers, we wanted to say thank you.