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Tip central from the FreakpunMaster himself, Jeremy Neff:

"Save the beetles!! Use a Freaker!!
This calls for a beetlehumper tribute design . . .
Beetlejuice beetle juice beetlejuice, lol.
new Freaker purpose - keeping your beer safe from any horny beetles . . ."

Has he lost his mind!? Are the aroused beetles threatening your brews?! What possibly could be the cause of such an uproar?! Science to the rescue!

"Besotted beetles are dying while trying to get it on with discarded brown beer bottles...It's a case of mistaken attraction, because the beer bottles happen to possess all of the features that drive male Australian jewel beetles wild. They're big and orangey brown in color, with a slightly dimpled surface near the bottom (designed to prevent the bottle from slipping out of one's grasp) that reflects light in much the same way as female wing covers." -Discovery

It's true! It's tragic! It's transfixing!

And if there were only a higher concentration of Freakers worldwide, the beetles would be both emotionally and physically protected by this lady-beetle-bottle-fraud! 
Beetle Rights Campaign? We'll bring it up at the next meeting. (Because we have meetings. Don't talk back.)

October 03, 2011 by Freaker USA
Tags: 2011 Nuts

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