Adrienne's Multiple Personality (Dis)Orders

Last week we showcased the fake mental illnesses of two of our team members. Zach's very distinct alter-egos included Smidel Smastro and "That Guy," ...both of whom are a necessary addition to parties if you're in the market for Grey Ukranians and Revolutionary Yelling. Oliver has multiple personalities also, including but not limited to: Willie the Kid and Freddie Prinze Sr.

Today, we're turning the psychological camera on Adrienne, a beauty whose face has adorned the tag of every freaker that has had the honor and pleasure of freaking your person (or your dog. or hairbun. maybe even bottle.)

At first glance, one would assume this majestic being is mentally sound: 


PSYCHE! JOKES ON YOU! THIS GIRL IS NUTS.

Let's take a look at some of her alter-egos of splendor:

This is Candy Sue. She is currently enrolled in The Sacred Artichoke Heart, a boarding school in the New New Hampshire. Her favorite subject is "recess" and she has a very specific seat in the library where she eats her lunch everyday (which consists of gummy bears and scraps of wallpaper she finds peeling off in the principle's office.) You can often find her skipping in a field of flowers humming every line of her favorite episodes of The Magic Schoolbus. Her favorite Freaker is No. 2.



This fine young lady goes by the name of TwinkleStar UnicornDust. Her life goals include: building the world's largest lollypop from glitter, constructing a technologically sound dress that changes colors with her mood, and travelling to Japan. (Spoiler alert: she will accomplish all of these goals.) Her favorite animal is a neon panda, her favorite film is Princess Monoke, and her favorite Freaker is Pan Ki Moon.