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The Freaker Guide To Not Trusting Beauty Magazines

Listen up, ladies. I'm about to unveil top-secret information. Take this news to heart, as it is groundbreaking and may shatter your vision of reality. Okay. You ready? Here goes.... 

DO NOT TRUST BEAUTY MAGAZINES. 

It has been uncovered, via our graphics master Justin, that photoshop exists. And it exists hard. 

Let's take a look at our Freaker Ladybat, Lauren:



Here she is, looking all American Sweethearty, or whatever. The more you look at this photo though, the fishier it appears. What happened to all that leftover mascara from "the accident" that she had smeared all over her arms? Where did the fleet of bruises on her pasty little legs disappear to? Photoshop, ladies. Photoshop.

And now to unveil the raw, untouched version of the same photo:

 

That's the normal Lauren that we all know and ...love? But wait! I vaguely remember her installing "thigh-sphere implants" on that particular day. Justin! Stop hiding the truth! 



Aah, yes. The famed sweetcheeks. 

Oh my...This just in. Justin has given us a breaking news update on what really happened during this shoot:


And there it is, folks. Top secret information on why not to trust beauty magazines: all the models are either Jessica Rabbit or secretly "a man."

Julian Assange would be proud. 
May 30, 2012 by Freaker USA

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