New Years Resignations

Some people go to the gym, others start eating broccoli, but our sole New Years Resolution is to convince MailChimp to give Zach a new shirt.

Here is a Freaker photo-journal of of proof that this shirt is worn entirely too often, and thus through scientific findings we have come to this distinct conclusion: We all may perish if Zach doesn't change his shirt. Our fate (and street cred) is in your hands, MailChimp.

In our first piece of Evidence against the currently owned MailChimp shirt, you can clearly see Zach engaging in brutal competitive sports, trying to blend in with a gang of German filmmakers, and shaking his tush while photographing still-life masterpieces.

I present to you our second piece of Evidence, which is solid proof that he has lifted heavy machinery within the confines of a boxtruck house, time travelled back to a time where Polaroids were viable methods of documentation, and slept under tables. In the same shirt.

In our final piece of Evidence that Zach needs a new shirt, the jury can clearly see him urinating on his own boxtruck, conferencing a conference at a conference meeting, and tenderly nuzzling small puppies.
I would like to reiterate that even though Zach is a very energetic and restless individual, he did not do all of these things on the same day. Therefore, this is our official plea to MailChimp to save the office from the consequences of our CEO wearing the same shirt everyday. HALPPPP!!!!!

(P.S. We love you.)

January 02, 2013 by Freaker USA
Tags: Zach Crain
previous / next

Leave a comment

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.