Baberaham Lincoln Socks
$15.99
We pledge allegiance to all the FREAKS!
One Size Fits Most: God Bless the American feet who will fit men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14 shoes. These socks will bless your feet in liberty.
Wash Like Socks: Wash them like normal socks, but dry them by running them up the flag pole and letting the sweet air of freedom dry them out.
What These Are Made Of: What's more American than a comfortable cotton and polyester blend for a sock that will last through Wold War butt-kicking after World War butt-kicking? Nothing. That's what these socks are made of.
American Jobs: American socks, made by American hands, delivered by Americans. I could repeat this one, but I don't think the computers wouldn't understand.
Puking Unicorn
$9.99
You'd like to know where rainbows come from? We have some news...
-One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep.
-Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Puking Unicorn Socks
$15.99
-One Size Fits Most! Bringing unisexy back. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Machine Washable! -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Chile Nelson
$9.99
Somewhere between Whiskey River and the road... again.
One Size Fits All: Our buddy Oliver told us that if you put this Freaker on the right bottle, you're 'in the right mindset', and you play your favorite album backwards, it Chile will come to life and start singing. #UrbanLegends
Made in North Carolina: Something about the air here. It's clean. It's spicy. It's fresh.
Protects the Valuables: If you're playing the puff-puff-pass game and your fingres are drenched with bottle sweat, that's a party foul and you get skipped. This thing can save you from that fate.
Machine Washable: We do not recommend putting this thing into a chile roaster. It will burn it, not "sanitize it with heat." Found that one out the hard way.
American Jobs: Thank you for making this happen!
Chile Nelson Socks
$15.99
Queso on my Mind...
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Where we grow the finest Organic Green Chile Nelson socks.
Machine Washable: You'll need it after the stench of all the doinks that these socks will smoke. But maybe you like that smell. We don't judge and don't know you're life. Do you. :)
American Jobs: Love you.
Tupacca
$9.99
Did it all for the Wookie.
One Size Fits All: So that no matter what you drink your gangster space juice from, you keep your paws clean and dry.
Made in North Carolina: Not a place that is light years away.
Insulates: It will keep your drink cold or warm, even in hyperspace.
Machine Washable: Pop this sucker in a sanitank and it should be good to go.
American Jobs: Thank you for supporting jobs in this universe!
Tupacca Socks
$15.99
Picture All Eyez on Your Socks!
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Not a galaxy or country far, far away.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable... Come to think of it, I don't understand space clothing. How often should it be washed?
American Jobs: Where people live free!
John Lemon Socks
$15.99
The Fab Four: George Pearison, Ringo Starfruit, John Lemon, and Paul McCartpea
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: A great place to be and be from.
Machine Washable: These socks love a good Twist and with Shout laundry detergent.
American Jobs: The folks that make these are from this side of the pond. Thanks for helping keep it that way!
Spit Happens Socks
$15.99
-One Size Fits Most!Bringing unisexy back. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Machine Washable! -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Unicorn On The Cob
$10.99
Unicorns + Glitter Yarn = Unicornography
One Size Fits All: Because real unicorns have curves.
Made in North Carolina: The sparkles in this Freaker may or may not come from unicorn hair harvested from the forest floors of N.C.
Insulates: They protect your hands from getting wrinkly and nasty.
Machine Washable: Can also use magical unicorn powers to clean this knit bottle sleeve, but we've never seen that action personally. We just know it exists.
American Jobs: When you support American jobs, you support a land of magic, hope, and beauty!
Unicorn On The Cob Socks
$15.99
50% Unicorn. 50% Cob. 100% Magically Amazing!!!
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: A land where there are two known sightings of unicorns that we know of.
Machine Washable: These socks love a good romp in the washer with all of your other clothes.
American Jobs: Work in a highly magical land is only possible with you! Thank you.
Alpaca Bowl Socks
$15.99
...then alpaca 'nother one :-)
One Size Fits Most: You don't have to worry about stuffing these too much. These socks fit men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14.
Made in North Carolina: Even the cotton we make these socks with is grown and processed right here in the U.S.A. - Amen.
Machine Washable: The wash best in the machine six paces from the front door at your local laundromat. Don't ask us how we know this. We just do, man.
Materials: The majority of the sock is made of cotton, but we also threw in some polyester and a minimum amount of spandex to make sure they stretch and fit snug.
Screw It (Pink)
$9.99
Here's to pour decisions.
-One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Conservation Nation Socks
$15.99
Right on, rhino friend.
Proceeds from your purchase of this AMAZING custom design will go to Conservation Nation.
They give to Smithsonian projects in the wild, including a project to help endangered rhinos stay alive.
So make the purchase and don your socks on the dance floor with pride! You just saved the planet with your fancy footwork.
Click here to learn more about Conservation Nation and the great work they do all over the world!
Sizes: Men sizes 4-12 and Women sizes 6-14
Machine Washable: You can wash these like normal socks, or you can hand wash them in Nile when you visit the rhinos you just helped save! Not sure about the legality of that second one though.
Materials: Customized Cotton/Polyester Blend
Lumbersmack
$9.99 $5.99
Because bottles need plaid shirts too...
One Size Fits All: And we mean it!
Made in North Carolina: Where plaid is an official uniform of the people in some parts of the state.
Insulates: And keeps drinks so cozy. Like, way cozy.
Machine Washable: Just don't put it in your red plaid shirt or you may never find it again.
American Jobs: Pure American Jobs.
Conservation Nation
$9.99
Right on, rhino friend.
Proceeds from your purchase of this design supports Conservation Nation, which gives to Smithsonian projects in the wild.
So personalize your bottle with a disco-loving rhino today and declare yourself a proper conservationist!
Click here to learn more about Conservation Nation and the great work they do all over the world!
One Size Fits All: This Freaker was designed to fit best over reusable bottles, but it simply loves being treated with care.
Made In America: Made locally, shipped globally!
Machine Washable: Take it down to the local watering hole that specializes in cloth sanitation. It will hook you up!
Game of Cones
$9.99
Spoiler Alert: Ice cream is delicious.
One Size Fits All: From the littlest fingers to the paws of giants.
Made in North Carolina: That's what's west of Westeros.
Insulates: Keeps things warm in the North. Cold in Highgarden.
Machine Washable: Because machines do the wash, not people.
American Jobs: Where the fate is up to the people!!!!!
TACOCAT Socks
$15.99
MEOW! *crunch* YUM! PUUURRRR.
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: It is rumored that NC is home to the 1,315th ever cat birthed out back of a taco stand.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable... but watch out for the claws. They're sharp!
American Jobs: A place where we can all MEOW freely at the top of our lungs!!!!
TACOCAT
$9.99
Taco. Cat. TACOCAT!!!!!!!!
One Size Fits All: As diverse as the cats and tacos in your life.
Made in North Carolina: Where our tacos are grown organically.
Insulates: Protects. Nurtures. Invests.
Machine Washable: You'll want to do that after you use this as a napkin during your next taco smashing session.
American Jobs: Where our cats are grown organically.
I Am Froot Socks
$15.99
You Ever Toss a Froot Salad?
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Where pineapple are available year-round.
Machine Washable: Gotta keep these bad boys clean somehow.
American Jobs: From toe to top, these socks are made in the USA. Thanks for keeping it local!
I Am Froot
$9.99
If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple ;-)
One Size Fits All: I am Froot.
Made in North Carolina: I am Froot.
Insulates: I am Froot.
Machine Washable: I am Froot.
American Jobs: I am Froot!
Don't Be A Prick
$9.99
Stay sharp.
One Size Fits All: We're Cereus... This product would fit over a Golden Barrel.
Made in North Carolina: We once had the best Prickly Pear tea in a shop in Durham. Believe that.
Insulates: Not only does this bottle cover protect you from bottle sweat, it keeps the worst a-holes at the bar from starting conversations.
Machine Washable: Toss it in the load with all the lime green, cactus themed towels you have for your Southwestern themed kitchen.
American Jobs: Every time we sell one of these, we handle it with care.
Don't Be A Prick Socks
$15.99
These socks are more for those around you.
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Where cacti come to hang out.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable, but watch out for the thorns.
American Jobs: We're a bit bias, but the cactus in the southwestern United States are the perfect cactus.
Bitches Get Stitches
$9.99
Clear my schedule, there's yarn on the floor.
DESIGNED BY EMILY MARTIAN
One Size Fits All: We're not kitty-ing. It's one bottle cover to fit them all.
Made in North Carolina: We estimate that in the state alone more than 40 million stitches were given to bitches. That's why we say it's made here.
Insulates: This cat is so tough, it intimidates the condensation from even forming on every bottle in the first place.
Machine Washable: This cat likes baths, but prefers showers.
American Jobs: American Art + American Products = We Love You
Caticorn
$9.99
Kittens or Unicorns? (Why not both?)
One Size Fits All: If it fits, it sits.
Made in North Carolina: This particular species of Caticorn has habitat concentrated near the snipe hunting grounds around Lake Waccamaw.
Insulates: The Caticorn's magical power is bringing joy to your face every time you see it. It insulates your soul from terrible vibes.
Machine Washable: This Freaker may or may not regularly clean itself. Depends on how old it is and if it's still flexible enough to reach it's hind quarters.
American Jobs: The only known places to get authentic Caticorn gear are Japan and America. We're glad you chose America.
Caticorn Socks
$15.99
Caticorns can meow in 5 languages
-One Size Fits Most! Men sizes 4-12 and Women size 6-14 - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance*
-Machine Washable! Also hand washable.. but who does that?
-American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Fish You Were Here
$9.99
See you on the dark side of the lagoon.
From May - December of 2019, Fish You Were Here is the official style chosen by our local chapter of the Autism Society of North Carolina. A portion of all sales of this Freaker will go directly to helping families in our community. Additional donations can be submitted here. Thank you for your support!
One Size Fits All: This thing will also double as a sweater for a bunch of different fish. Can you believe that some people think fish don't get cold?!?!
Made in North Carolina: We thought of this style when were were fishing for Walleye on Lake Fontana.
Covers and Protects: Whatever beverages you take with you on the boat, we recommend putting a Freaker on to keep it from slipping out of your hand from the bottle sweat attack the lake effect moisture bring about. Trust us.
Machine Washable: If you don't have a machine, dip it in the clean parts of the water.
American Jobs: Thank goodness we get to make a living doing this. Thank you for putting up with our bad jokes. :)
Buns N' Roses
$9.99
Welcome to the jungle, we've got buns and franks.
One Size Fits All: Put it over your can of beer at the GNR show!
Made in North Carolina: We're the next paradise city. The grass is sand and the beverages are non-sweaty.
Insulates: Beverage insulators for the sweetest child of mine.
Machine Washable: Our bottle covers clean themselves like a cat.
American Jobs: Keep that economy rolling on the night train.
Buns N' Roses Socks
$15.99
OHHHH Sweet Dallop O' Mayochup
One Size Fits Most: These unisex socks fit men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14.
Made in North Carolina: Presumably, in a city of paradise.
Machine Washable: With soap and water and like colors recommended
American Jobs: Blessings on you and your Freaky Family!
Take Me To Your Litter
$9.99
Meow-ta this world!
One Size Fits All: All the bottles in the galaxy!
Made in North Carolina: #1 in alien cat abductions.
Insulates: For those long trips outta the Milky Way.
Machine Washable: For after you come home from those long trips outta the Milky Way.
American Jobs: 100%. Thank you.
Take Me To Your Litter Socks
$15.99
All Your Chezburger are Belong to Us
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: A state that could claim at least 15 paranormal cat incidents in the last decade.
Machine Washable: Or you can use sanitation POD if you have one laying around.
American Jobs: We love cute kitties and alien socks!
The Donald Socks
$15.99
The greatest reality show host turned President ever!!!
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Many things he likes about this state. He won this state. That says something, right. *shrugs*
Machine Washable: Because you will want your Executive socks to look as clean as a Big Mac.
American Jobs: Obviously, Pres. Trump is the only reason the American economy exists. It didn't before he got into office. Correct.
Darth Brooks
$9.99
Something something dark side, pick-up truck, 'murrica.
One Size Fits All: Definitely puts a death grip over one or two piña coladas.
Made in North Carolina: It may be made in North Carolina, but we've been callin' Baton Rouge suppliers for years to supply us with raw materials and it feels like a galaxy far, far away.
Insulates: Go ahead, ask me how I know it insulates. Join the Freaker family and it will complete your bottle sweat destruction training.
Machine Washable: I'm not your father, and I don't have to wonder. Both cowboys and angels must put dirty laundry through the wash to clean it.
American Jobs: It is most impressive that we've found a new way to fly our products straight to your door. Thank you for your support!
Darth Brooks Socks
$15.99
We find the lack of these socks in your cart... disturbing.
One Size Fits Most! Typically, men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14.
Made in North Carolina: Because we know quality.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable... in the nearest body of water.
American Jobs: Thank you kindly for your support!
Forget Me Now
$9.99
Erase that huge mistake.
One Size Fits All: We make it so there's no shame in getting the big bottle. Sometimes you need it to make it through.
Made in North Carolina: Drug are bad, ok?
Secures: This will keep your bottles safe. The contents inside, not so much because that's what lids do. We think you're supposed to consume those in the recommended doses.
Machine Washable: make sure you take it off the bottle before you throw it in.
American Jobs: We can't do what we do without you! Thank you.
Grand Theft Otter Socks
$15.99
These socks are 5-stars. Try to lose them...
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Where all the otters go to live free.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable... you know. For the otters.
American Jobs: Here we go again...
I Kitty the Fool
$9.99
Kitty got no time for the jibba-jabba.
One Size Fits All: Try it. You'll see. Try it.
Made in North Carolina: Where kitty gets fool'd on the daily.
Insulates: This particular design actually scares the molecules into retaining their temperature rather than the cloth helping protect things. #Fax
Machine Washable: But don't mess up that hair cut.
American Jobs: The folks who make these things live in the greatest country on earth.
I Kitty the Fool Socks
$15.99
Meowin' on 'Em
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: Where superstars appear from time to time.
Machine Washable: Also hand washable... Also claw washable...
American Jobs: Where the people roam free and sometimes shoot big guns.
Zero Fox Given Socks
$15.99
-One Size Fits Most! Bringing unisexy back. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Machine Washable! -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Tropickle Socks
$15.99
-One Size Fits Most! Bringing unisexy back. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Machine Washable! -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Screw It
$9.99
I mean, wine not?!?!
One Size Fits All: It'll even fit over those big bottles of Carlo Rossi you love. Jugs, maybe. We've seen some things.
Made in North Carolina: Home to the funniest wine puns on the planet.
Insulates: It will certainly keep the contents of your wine bottles at a more consistent temperature.
Machine Washable: Who doesn't spill a bit from time to time.
American Jobs: We appreciate your loving kindness!
Clyde
$9.99
Freak your partner in wine.
One Size Fits All: No tailoring required for this bad boy.
Made in North Carolina: Went down a rabbit hole googling the phrase "Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome." It's very adult. I wouldn't recommend it.
Insulates: Fits and functions like a suit is supposed to!
Machine Washable: No dry cleaning required.
American Jobs: The materials used to make this product are grown in a field not far from where Bonnie and Clyde were captured in Louisiana.
North Carolina Flag
$9.99
I mean come on, we made Cheerwine and Michael Jordan y'all.
One Size Fits All: Makes a great gift for any beverage connoisseur.Made in North Carolina: That's right, Michael Jordan plays basketball on our highways.Insulates: Keeps your can of Cheerwine nice and cool. Most importantly, it keeps you cool.Machine Washable: Don't throw it in the Cape Fear River to wash it, whatever you do!American Jobs: Thanks for supporting American made products!
Cam Newton Socks
$19.99
Officially Licensed Product of National Football League Players Inc. © 2019
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: The proud home of the football team from the Carolinas.
Machine Washable: These things love the spin cycle. It helps shed dirt to keep broken plays alive!
American Jobs: So you know it's MVP quality.
Lance Tiny-Arms Strong
$9.99 $5.99
"Hold on to your butts."
One Size Fits All: Looks especially good on bottles used on bikes.
Made in North Carolina: Where biking is recognized as a thing people do.
Insulates: Keeps that Twisted Tea cold while you peddle home from the corner store.
Machine Washable: Really likes warm water.
American Jobs: Where cheaters never win and winners never cheat. ;)
Lance Tiny-Arms Strong Socks
$15.99 $7.99
I have never [had tiny arms]. I can say it again, but I've said it for [sixty-five million] years.
One Size Fits Most: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14. - Bringing unisexy back.
Made in North Carolina: A state that still has no law against having a pet dinosaur.
Machine Washable: But won't protect you from asteroids.
American Jobs: RAWR!
Straight Outta Campton
$9.99 $5.99
...crazy mothafreaker name Bigfoot
-One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Doggie Paddle Socks
$15.99
Woof, woof, ROOOOOOOOOOOOrooo.
GRRR Ruff Ruff Bark: Typically fits men sizes 4-12 and women size 6-14.
OOORRooo roo roo: Mailman must be here.
Sniff, Sniff, Bark Bark Bark: Also hand washable...
Hmmmm Hhhmmm Ruf: Must be time to go outside and sniff things for 20min. while we play on our phone.
Tug Life
$9.99 $5.99
Dear Mama, the Tug Life chose me.
-One Size Fits All! Sippy cup? Yep. Water bottle? Yep. 40 oz? Yep. MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER? Yep. -Made in North Carolina!! *somebody inevitably sings Wagon Wheel in the distance* -Insulates!! (I know, I know, big words. Here: It keeps all your drinks cold!) -Machine Washable! Throw that sucker in with a regular load of laundry for a pick-me-up. -American jobs thank you kindly for your support!
Hooters
$9.99 $5.99
Owl night long! (owl night)
One Size Fits All: It adjusts to your needs.
Made in North Carolina: Where we've given owls x-ray vision in a series of terrible science experiments gone way, way wrong.
Insulates: Adds a layer of protection as well.
Machine Washable: Do owls even take baths?
American Jobs: Where the Hooters are hot!