QUESTION: I have a baby. I also enjoy bum-wine. Is the Freaker for me?
ANSWER: A match made in heaven, gumdrop. One-Size-Fits-All is no fib or fable. Your little one's sippy cup can be just as freaked as your forty ounces of Colt. And also your mom's wine and your kid sister's Nalgene and your dad's beer and the vase you sometimes regretably send flowers to your ex in.
QUESTION: I put my Freaker on a fire hydrant. (It was AMAZING!) But now the little guy is a little flabby. Can I shrink my Freaker back down to it's original size?
ANSWER: The consequences of freaking a fire hydrant are slim to none! Freakers are machine washable!! Just throw it in the next time you run out of clean underwear... and WAH-LAH!
QUESTION: Do y'all do customized Freakers or Socks?
ANSWER: UMMMMM, we thought you would never ask. Custom designs are some of our absolute FAVORITE things to do. We've done them for museums and weddings, special events and car clubs. Fill out this form by clicking here and we'll get you going.
QUESTION: I really need to get ahold of someone at Freaker USA. Stat. I mean, pronto, yesterday type stuff.
ANSWER: We get it, you're in a rush. You can either fill out this form on our contact page, or email email@example.com and we'll get in touch with you ASAP.
QUESTION: OMG, my [Insert Favorite Style of Freaker Here] is falling apart and finally died!!!!! Help!!!
ANSWER: That's a bummer, bro-chatchamus. In generally, we recommend the following things. 1. If it's on the online store, we can usually hook you up. Email firstname.lastname@example.org. 2. You can try finding them at a store near you on our Store Locator. Retailers sometimes have the older style Freakers 3. Check on Amazon. Our retail partner on Amazon has some older styles too. 4. Email/message the picture of your old Freaker to us on social media. We'll send you a special something, something because we love you.
QUESTION: My Freaker doesn't fill the inner void of emotion like I thought it would/ Twas lost in the pigeon-carrier mail-system /Just plain isn't freaky enough.
ANSWER: So. You want a refund? You got 1 week to let us know and mail it back to the address it came from, buddy, and the clock is a-tickin. Be sure to let us know who you are and also know that we won't accept Freakers that you stomped on or that your dog ate.
QUESTION: I am an online shopping addict and I expected my package to be here yesterday!! How long does shipping usually take?
ANSWER: We ship daggum things quick fast and in a hurry. If you order from our website, we are sending that biz out lit-trolly next business day in 95% of the cases. Sometimes same business day. The rest depends on the shipping options and the fact that no body delivers stuff on Sundays, man. Typically it's about 2-6 business days though.
QUESTION: I am serving America and live on an base in some country my parents can't know about or they would freak out, but I'm totally ok. Can you send to my APO/FPO?
ANSWER: Yes. Place your order like you do anything else and we'll get it there.
QUESTION: I desperately need to be freaked but I'm in Swaziland! HALP!!!
ANSWER: No fear, cowpie. Freaking Swaziland is #1 on our priority book! We ship internationally, fo sho! Our prices are calculated by UPS, so please don't yell at us if the pigeon-carriers ask for all of your worldly belongings in exchange.
QUESTION: I lost my tracking number. You never sent it to me. I can't believe that you guys wouldn't offer tracking. This is awful!
ANSWER: Woah. That doesn't sound like us. We're already sorry and we're not even sure what happened. You should have received a tracking number when the shipping confirmation email went out. We ask that you check the email that you used to order with first. If it's not there, reach out to email@example.com and we'll get it taken care of as soon as we possibly can.
QUESTION: I'm getting the Don't Be a Prick sock/Freaker combo for my mother-in-law as a gift. I know she'll love it and couldn't possibly read anything into it. Do you guys offer notes and gift-wrapping?
ANSWER: We don't want to tell you what to do, but maybe an honest conversation over a bottle of win might help with the mother-in... You know what. Never mind. You do you. -- As far as the personalization goes, we personalize EVERY SINGLE ORDER that comes through our website with a hand-written thank you note with items beautifully wrapped in tissue paper. Just let us know what you'd like written on the card and we'll make it happen!
QUESTION: Hey Yo! My uncle got me a University of Florida Freaker as a gift and I'm actually going to Florida State next year. Can I exchange it?
ANSWER: Sure thing Ms. Send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll handle it.
QUESTION: *$&%^#@!! I just bought this thing a week ago from my local store and I didn't notice it had a hole in it!
ANSWER: That's terrible. While we pride ourselves on having the highest quality manufacturing in all our products, mistakes happen, colors fade oddly, and we would appreciate the opportunity to make it right. These things happen. Contact our support team and we'll see what we can do.
Wholesale/Retail Store Questions
QUESTION: I don't know if you've ever been to Davenport, Iowa, but I have the absolute, most amazingest, one-of-a-kind retail locations that only sells the coolest stuff called 'Only Cool Sh*t' and I need Freaker USA gear in my store tomorrow!!!!!!
ANSWER: Oh! Great store name! You'll need to fill our wholesale application! For all information about wholesale accounts, you can go here! For all other questions, you have my full permission to harass the team at email@example.com!!!
QUESTION: I have this amazing organization that recuses and re-homes tea-cup pigs. We're having a fundraiser this year can you give us stuff for our raffle/silent auction/grab bags?
ANSWER: Our donation limit is quarterly, so contact the support team or get at us on the social medias and someone will get in touch with you. We also love to do custom stuff for organizations, so let us know.
QUESTION: I spend 39 hours a day on social media and I'm an internet influencer like John Mayer, Bhad Bhabie, or Jenna Marbles. Can you send me some stickers and stuff, I'll post it on my social medias and make you as famous as me!!!
ANSWER: Sounds good. Send a request and we'll see what we can do.
QUESTION: Do you offer discounts?
ANSWER: Get on our newsletter email list and find our for yourself!