Doh

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman."

Hello, I’m a FREAKER!  There’s elastic knit throughout my BEAUTIFUL body, giving me the ability to stretch and fit BEER, SPORTS, WATER & WINE containers!  I protect your hands from icy-sweaty beverages, keep your drinks COLD and you looking snazzy! 

Machine Wash - Patent # 8,104,636