New Freaker: FRUITCAKE!

Remember all those holidays where your great-aunts, coworkers, and estranged lovers alike all tried to pass off fruitcake as a thoughtful gift? THEY FAILED and you know it. They know it. Everyone knows how hard they failed at being thoughtful.

So this year, we want to give you ammunition to fight back on their supposed consideration with a Fruitcake all of your own. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the newest design to the Freaker Family… Fruitcake!

You win. You’re welcome.