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Stop! Quick! Look behind you! America's favorite birthday party is sneaking up ninja-quick. What do you need to prepare? The basics, obviously: frilly hats, backyard explosives, Mel Gibson, hawt dogs and hot dawgs.
And Freakers. An abundance of Freakers. To help you prepare, we're having a sale!
From now until the 4th of July, we're throwing in a free Baberaham Lincoln for every 3 Freakers you buy!
Buy 3, Get 1, Buy 6, Get 2, Buy a jamillion, get a third of a jamillion ...For freedom!