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We do not live in a boring world.
Nobody represents the unpredictable quirkiness of life on earth quite like Shaquille O'Neel. All basketball accomplishments aside, Shaq Diesel is an extraordinary creature. Have you Googled his nicknames recently? Remember his rapping genie movie Kazaam? What about the time SAG fined him for crossing the picket-line to get into Disneyland? This moment. Or that time he spent 2 full minutes rapping insults about Kobe Bryant? What about all of those weird photo-ops with tiny pandas and baby seals? Or the Aaron Carter music video "How I Beat Shaq" from 2005? Shaqtin' a fool.
Shaq is an American Lucid Dream full of strange turns and endless giggles. He probably DOES eat his bananas with chopsticks, and for that he has earned our eternal R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Shaquille O'Peel!