Oregon (Freak) Trail

Portland, we are on a mission impossible (mission-totally-possible, but this doesn't bring up the weird Tom Cruise visuals) to freak you in all of your Oregonian (Oregononon?) glory. Proof positive: We've forded the river & the doctor tested all three of us negative for yellow fever. Saddle up, Paddle down, freaks. 
The Oregon Trail is not survivable without a steady supply of burritos. Ox burritos. 

An elderly gent yelled at us because "this is not a [insert foul-word here] gymnasium!"

...And while we respect everyone exercising their freedom of speech, we were a bit confused at the source of his anger.  It probably didn't help that we were also filming a human reenactment of The Lion King. 

We couldn't help it. What regal Simba-otic (ZING!) scenery. 

Ponder on that one for a hot minute. Akuna Matata, freaks.