A couple months ago we held a Design-A-Freaker contest in which the winner's designs would go to production.
It took us a hot minute to figure out which designs were Freakerly feasible, but we found our winner and his name is Denton Holt, designer of the newest member of our Freaker Family: Liberty Freak. Denton is not only a Freaker Winner but also a Fierce Champion of Life. We scored a lucky moment to talk him about his extraordinary special quirks. Laides and Gentlemen, I present to you, Sir Denton Holt:
Freaker:So Denton, do you currently possess any superpowers?
Denton Holt:Of course I do, I recently lost my ability to teleport at will, BUT, it has been replaced by the ability to spontaneously bud a clone. There is no warning, it just happens. I am trying to learn how to control this awesome power but all efforts so far have proven futile. Yeah, I can't explain, but I have numerous carbon copy doppelgängers floating around...you have been warned.
F:What is your spirit animal?
DH:The lion, of course. King of the Jungle...like a boss.
F:We really love your Liberty Freak design. Tell us a little backstory on it!
DH:Sometimes I just imagine what our ancestors and first immigrants would have thought if the first thing they saw as they arrived in the United States was The Statue of Liberty and it had been Freaked. What is sadly omitted by our gracious friends, the French sculptors, is the second tablet for Lady Liberty saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free....and be prepared to be Freaked." That is the America I envision and the Freaker I want.
F:Living in Denver, how do you resist the temptation to make snowangels everyday?
DH:I don't resist the temptation. It snowed today and I had a snow angel party on my porch, at the park, and after lunch (of course I waited 30 minutes prior to snow angeling). It is very difficult to restrain myself, but each day I grow a little bit more tame. Baby steps my beloved Freakteam....Baby steps. This winter will prove to be difficult for me and I will be faced with many challenges. Pray for me.
So there you have it. I hope someday, somewhere, somehow, this world of ours will be filled to the brim with Denton Holt's waving their freakflags with pride. And liberty. For all.
Congratulations, Denton. Everybody in the freak world is going to lust over your Liberty Freak. For justice.