New Freaker: Tree Hugger!

American folklore is pretty versatile. From Tupac ghost tales to Area 51 abductions (Will Smith will save us all) to Bigfoot dance parties, our great nation has great stories. One of our best involves a mutant giant lumberjack with a mutant giant blue ox, skating on stovetops and slaying trees. Paul Bunyan, the one lumbersexual to rule them all.

(We just got back from an epic roadtrip across the country, touring with an all-time favorite boogy band called Harmonia Lewinski. We took a few lessons in tree hugging along the way, too. NSFW.)

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Tree Hugger!