The Ultimate Flattery

This morning, we received a message (on the INTERNETS!) asking us if Zach was the previous owner of a 1995 teal Pontiac Grand Am. At first we were a little thrown off because the answer is unfortunately "no." Our next immediate reaction was a strange form of pity for a woman who may accidentally be stalking the past of the wrong man. But then, after the illumination that is Craigslist, we realized that we will probably never receive a higher compliment than the simple question "Were you the previous owner of this 1995 teal Pontiac Grand Am. 

And heres why: 

"I grew my beard to unreasonable lengths, trimmed my fingernails with a belt sander, ate nothing but lumber for 6 straight days and knocked a polar bear unconscious." -Worthy Hero.