Last Friday, two of the Freaker women got in a car.
But wait! The story doesn't end there! They got in a car and they drove for 16 hours through the darkest of all nights and arrived in the morning dew of a friendly city that never rains named Boston. They even listened to that Augustana song, but only once. Anyways, like any good representative would do, they made new friends! Some of those friends were homeless, some were peppy, some were dressed in garments that were not heteronormative for their currently assigned gender. But they all were bearded. Even the women.
This is one of their favorite new friends. Even though he was a bit raggedy, the girls could tell that this guy had a decent heart and wasn't going to mouth-foam (verb; to foam at the mouth) if he got confused or egocentric. He had slight abandonment issues and wasn't very talkative, but his past days of youth were apparently glorious.
Whats that? Oh. No, dummie. Not that grungy dude. We're taking about the dog.
He was one of our most statue-esque friends that the two Freakerladiez encountered along the way. This dog was laying on the side of the road in Cambridge, Massachusetts, presumably waiting for someone, somewhere to understand and utilize his original purpose: an oversized throw pillow. They made buddies and lovingly named him "Stray Dog" and left a dowry in the form of a Freaker to whoever this little doodie may or may not belong to.