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Alas, it's true. The Olympics started this weekend! There was some weird ceremony where Ban Ki Moon had a big stick on fire. (GUYS: Pan Ki Moon the Freaker is a nerdy pun on the UN Secretary General named Ban Ki Moon. Bring this up if you ever see any of us, ever, and we'll buy you a beer. Unless we're broke, and then we'll give you a high five and strangely change the subject.**)
The point is, we're all going to be huddled together again and watching Modern Pentathion (not joking.) drinking soda-pop. And guys, let's be honest. It's painfully hot outside. Therefore, your soda-pop (HAHA! The Midwest is the coolest.) is going to cry. And crying soda-pop are a catalyst to the most disgusting of all awkward hand-shakes.
You know what you have to do.
**Disclaimer: This is Lauren. Please don't be mad at me if you do this Pan Ki Moon thing at a bar and member of the Freakerteam looks confused & suspicious.