Semantics of the Not-UnImpressed!

A mysterious lad just got their 1st Freaker in the mail. His maybe-unintentionally-hilarious response has left us with the giggles:

"Whatever lingering doubts I had about this bizarre contraption of yours were assuaged by it's startling functionality and shockingly tasteful appearance."

...It WORKS! And as an added bonus... It's not hideous! LONG LIVE THE FREAKER! 

(I will reveal the secret identity of our secret interlocutor when the secret mission... well... I'll tell you when you're older.)