Lauren does not have narcolepsy. She does, however, fall asleep mid-sentence at the office sometimes. This is usually after a night of being a responsible-adult (hear that, kids?)
Proof of her non-narcoleptic but entirely-narcoleptic office antics:
Guess what? Lauren fell asleep again.
She sleeps like a RollyPoly and dreams like a dog. So we fired her.
Before you start shooting your resumes our way (yeah right, nobody wants to f'ing work here, we know), I regret to inform you that we have already replaced her. With her own dog. Nelson Danzig Mandela is our new residential wordjuicer:
Even though he took after his mother's magical power to nap in unfortunate situations, Nelson Danzig Mandela was much much more adorable at it. So we kept him.
But the next day, he was so ecstatic about his new employment, he tripped & cut his foot during a celebratory dance.
So we had to hire back this girl:
As you can tell, she was thrilled.