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Anyways, this product is going to change the landscape of "Victory."
Look at that flawless design! The user-friendly interface! Such an immaculate product is not just a pretty face though, it's functionality will make you the most obnoxiously loud "WINNER" in all the land!
I gave the world of Facebook a sneak preview of this life-changing release earlier today. Most commenters were just as enthralled with this new development as we were, but one lone perfectionist looked past this technological bling and found a mistake.
He so politely asked us "Does the blackboard say 'nipple writing?' - a lost art form if ever there was one."
Thank you for your concerns, Dan Burke. No, the blackboard did not say "nipple writing."
... but this Keyboard of Victory must have superfluous powers because all of a sudden, Dan Burke's comments were victorious! The TechnologicalTrophy really works!
And so it was.**
**(The late Kurt Vonnegut approves of this new invention. Probably.)