The Mayans must have worn themselves out holiday shopping, the obvious solution being to doom everything right before Christmas.
FACT: If only they had been able to give the gift of Freakers, we would not be digging tornado caves in a canned-food fit for survival right now.
So here's our materialistic celebration that we are not living in a Freakerless dark age: We're throwing in a FREE CUPPOW on all orders of 6 Freakers or more!!
Aight den. (*MIC DROP*)