Good Monday, my little joy ducklings!
All Mondays are Good Mondays (as opposed to Fridays, where the secretive coalition of weekdays choose a "winner" in the "good" catagory.) but this Monday is Extra Good Monday as we are ecstatic to announce the newest product hailing from Freaker USA. We've been developing this idea for some time now, and everything has fallen into it's right place. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great honor that I am finally introducing you to ... Spreaklers!!!
(Freakers is an acronym for SPRAY ON FREAKERS. Duh!)
Do you have pesky friends that snatch your Freaker stash? Did a suspiciously pretty girl at a bar con you into handing over your favorite one? Are you and your Freaker the subject of jealousy, lust, and thievery?! Say goodbye to inward animosity and reluctantly moist handshakes! The Spreakler is for you!
That's right, folks! Just push a button, and you're freaked! The future is here, let us rejoice!
If you love the original Freaker, you'll love the Spray On Freaker!
-Some guy on Twitter
UPDATE: As of April 1st, exactly 69 seconds after the official Spreakler launch, we've already sold out! Ooooh buddy! Supply & demand is a Jerkface Killah!