Just now, in this moment, we decided to form a new club. You and you and you and you and your weirdy cousin are invited. It's going to be called the Joy Scouts Freaker Club and I promise you won't get horrily hazed.
All you have to do to join the greatest newest not-secret club that was just formed is sign up for our newsletter! (Is this hazing yet?) Oh! You get a special token when you join the Joy Scouts, just like all the other clubs. It's called a Freaker. You'll like it. What's that? Don't talk back.
Even though we're inviting everybody in the world, to fit in the definition of a "club," it must have at least one exclusive thing about it. Maybe a time stamp. Okay! Good talk! Here's the plan, clubscouts:
From now until Friday afternoon, if you sign up for our newsletter, you'll get a super secret code for a Free Freaker!
Limited time only! (That's what clubs do, right?) Use it before you lose it, Buster.
** US only. Sorry, Charlie.
OKAY LOVE YOU BYE!
(P.S. If you're reading this after the super exclusive club time stamp that we just made up - we still have good news for you. We do a collaborative giveaway with really amazing companies EVERY FRIDAY! Yes! It's such a true story! And we announce them in our newsletters! Go, go - you're time is now.)