Conspiracy theories can be absurdist, suspicious, bizarre, or ...ahem... illuminating. Favorites include: The moon does not exist. World governments are run by alien lizards in human costumes. Israel uses remote-controlled sharks as spies. Denver Airport is literally hell. Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. Katy Perry is Jonbenet Ramsey. Barbara Bush is Marilyn Monroe.

Of course Illuminati ramblings are always lurking in the shadows... but WHAT IF PIZZA RULED THE WORLD? We'll sign on to that world-view anyday.

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