Blog!

Just look at that face. LOOK AT IT!  The rest of your day will automatically be phenomenal because of this face. You're welcome. 

Now listen up, guys. We'd like to make some clarifications. April 20th is NOT a celebration of glaucoma. I don't know where you people get off, having couch-and-nachos-and-cartoon parties in honor of a horrible eye condition. Doritos? DORITOS?!  But whatever. You guys evidently love glaucoma, and we evidently love you. So here - we made this one just for you. Legal Eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Glaucoma!

Our office is an old One Tree Hill set.  We never watched the show, but evidently we're the only ones, considering all of the White Girl Graffiti that lines the building.  One of the quirks of operating out of Club Tric: Soap Opera Vandalism.  Tree Hill Trippin, y'all. 

This week we're featuring one of the most badass companies we've found in... maybe forever. Enough of this yibber-yabber, let's get to the good stuff: WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring waxed canvas lunch bags from Frost River! Handcrafted in Duluth, MN, Frost River is old school in all the right ways. Their quality bags are specifically made for extended use. Need a backpack that you can use, abuse, then pass down to the grandkids? Done and done. Design, craft, and the American Dream all rolled up in a lunch bag? I'm for it. I'm extra for it. Each winner also gets a Lumbersmack Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: We'll keep this week's contest simple. Get on Instagram and show us why you need a durable, hand crafted, waxed canvas lunch bag with the hashtag #FrostFreaker for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Nailed it. Ladies and Gentlemen... but emphasis ladies,  This is our art director, Justin. He is evidently very rugged.  This has been a public service announcement. 

Friendly reminder: It's April Fools day. We're going to spare you from all of the rancid pranks we considered, because frankly, nothing is weirder than the truth. This one is dedicated to all those times where you DO get fooled. For the times when the simple things stump you. When somebody jumps out of the dark and grabs you. For the golden moments when you realize that you left the pooper scooper at home.Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family.. Oh Shit!

This time of the year always brings about the same question: Will I be living in a transient boxtruck-house this summer? Travel plans are fuzzy, ephemeral, and seemingly untied to any reality of winter. Now is the time to dream big and set the wheels in motion to make it happen. Are you ready? Irrelevant question. Get ready. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring printed tote bags from Lady Alamo! Made with love in San Francisco, Lady Alamo uses natural materials and wanderlust imagery. Inside you will find snap-buttons that make the opening smaller and transform the shape of your bag. Imaginary cities, trams, parks and critters have been hand printed on each! Each winner also gets a Forget Me Now Freaker! (Total retail value: $44) HOW TO ENTER: Get on Twitter and let us know what your real OR surreal travel plans are for the summer are with the hashtag #FreakerAlamo for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Everyone self-medicates in some form. You like beer? Hm? KNEW IT. You don't drink the boozies? Okay. Do you like coffee? NAILED IT. Does exercise calm you down? STILL COUNTS, BUBBA. Instead of falling into shameful taboos, let's embrace self-medication. After all, everyone makes huge mistakes. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family.. Forget Me Now!

March! It's madness. We finally convinced everyone in our office to do a bracket, which has resulted in "Gorgonzola University" and "Stone Cold Stephen F. Austin" in the final four. Alright, kids. Game. On. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring $35 gift certificates to Prinstant Replays! Printed in Nashville, Prinstant Replays is the perfect union of sports history and good design. Remember that special moment when your team made you proud to be a native somethin-or-another? Hold on to that feeling. Forever ever? Forever ever. Each winner also gets a 1 Chainz Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Facebook and leave a comment on this photo letting us know what your game-day superstitions are. Do you secretly wear your high-school basketball thong during every game? Do you hang upsidedown for half an hour chanting the names of your top players? Do you have a personal team of rain-dancers perform at your dive bar before the game? Good. We want to know about it. Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Rappers have a lot of things figured out that the rest of the world hasn’t caught up to yet. For example, the art of screaming your own name before everything you do is something that only rappers and Steve Holt (STEVE HOLT!) have mastered gracefully. The letter “z” was once under-appreciated. The term “YOLO” was once unheard of. Evolving somebody else’s creations into your own? Sure, everyone does it - but splicing up old popular songs into rap beats takes “inspiration” to a new level. On that note, we’re learning from the classics over here. This one is dedicated to the mack-talkers and pimp-walkers that have made pop culture a more enchanting place.Give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family… 1 CHAINZ!

Full disclosure: We recently filmed a rap video. The editing process isn't finished, so footage is currently being quarantined from public view. None of that matters. What matters is that we filmed a rap video, putting us infinitely closer to completing our life goal of releasing a rap video. We're feeling particularly "hustle worthy" and it's our sworn duty to spread that feeling to you. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 6 care packages to give away this week featuring a collection of 5 designer temporary tattoos from Tattly! From our personal favorites up at Studiomates and Swiss-Miss in Brooklyn, every Tattly is designed by a professional artist who get a percentage of each sale. Printed with vegetable based ink in Brooklyn, they are 100% safe and 150% awesome. Each winner gets an assortment of 5 Tattlys and a Goonie Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram and show us your DIY temporary tattoos with the hashtag #Freakertat for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!