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Calendrical quiz: Did you know that Mother's Day is next week? Your mom put up with you, which is arguably the toughest, dirtiest, lowest paid job in the world. She fed you, she wiped you, she loved you. Even though everything in the mom-realm is unequivocally important, we're focusing on the feeding part today. Yeah. Food is great, and mom food is the greatest. Thanks Mamabears! WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: This week we have nine care packages to give away featuring the philanthropic jewelry company Half United! Based out of Wilmington, North Carolina, (HEY! We are too! Go team!) Half United upcycles materials to make simple and charming pieces, then uses half of their profits to fight both local and global hunger. We have 7 of their signature necklaces and two pairs of earrings that winners can choose from! Each winner also gets Hooters Freaker! HOW TO ENTER:Get on Twitter and let us know why your mom is the sparkiest sparkplug in the carpool lane and the sweetest grape in the bunch. Use the hashtag #UnitedFreak for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Eenie Etsy Minee Mo! Etsy got superfreaked! Earth Day was last week, and our friends at Etsy lived up to their reputation by celebrating with small business, innovation, and jubilation. The little birds teamed up with both Freaker and Cuppow, then started a Cup Exchange Program at their headquarters in Brooklyn. The program in their own words:

Have you ever filmed a hoser syrup commercial that went horribly downhill due to a King Kong Ogopogo Canadian in his britches? EH?! Me too, sonny. Me. Too. Oh, Canada. We’re not blaming you. We’re blaming Chavril.

Our northern neighbors don't get enough credit for their sense of humor, and trust me, it's all humor. (With the arguable exception of Neil Young.) PROOF: Pamela Anderson. Extreme manners. Keanu Reeves. EH? Drake. The word "Ogopogo." Rob Ford. CELINE. DION. With equal parts love and jest, it's time to celebrate our eagle's tophat and its all-encompassing hilarity. Ladies & Gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest Freaker in the family... Oh Canada!

At least 83% of Freaker USA employees have pretended to be career rappers at least once during their time here. This past week, our terminal delusions peaked with the release of a Freaker rap video. We're not over it yet. There's a good chance that we'll never get over it, so let's at least celebrate while it's still relevant. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We're feeling particularly frisky with this rap business, so we'll have 50 winners this week! Each winner will get a 1Chainz and a Mystery Freaker! Is this what they meant by "making it rainman?" HOW TO ENTER:This week, you'll have to do two things to enter: 1.) Share the video on Facebook! 2.) Watch the video, take a screenshot of your favorite moment, and leave it as a photo comment on this graphic! 50 screenshot-applicants will get a care package! (If two people use the same exact screenshot, it will be rated on a first-come-first-serve basis. Kapish? Kapish!) Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!  

In celebration of dreams coming true, puppies, motorcycles, milk, and the potential to start rap-beef with RiFF RAFF, 1Chainz is on sale! Just use the code NickyNiceGuy for 35% off 1Chainz from now until Thursday night!

  Yes. You heard right. This week we crossed a life-goal off of our life-bucket-list. We made a rap video. It's a real video with a real rapper and you should really watch it if you aspire to keep it real. Introducing the boomboom single I Don't Give A Freak by Nicky Nice Guy The Highness. Wear a helmet, your head might explode. *Mic Drop*

Easter weekend rules: 1. Hide & Seek! 2. Fingerpaint fragile things. 3. Cover your body in beastly pastels. 4. Ride dirty with Grandma. 5. Play Freaker Friday! 6. Rinse & Repeat. Alright, kids. The place is here, the time is now. Let's do this. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring coin pouches from Vaalbara Designs! Handmade in Venice, California, Vaalbara bags are the perfect embodiment of bohemian surf life. The leather is purchased locally, the fabrics are collected from around the world, and a portion of each sale goes to the SurfRider Foundation. Vaalbara coin pouches are the perfect size for credit cards, keys, questionable substances and, sure... coins. Each winner also gets a Freaker of their choice! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Twitter and let us know where you plan to hide your easter eggs this year with the hashtag #Freakerbara for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

This weekend is going to be weird. We know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. Nobody is admitting it. Giant Pastel Bunnies + Bob Marley + Egg Hunts + Glaucoma = Easter Sunday falls on April 20th. It sounds like a circus, and there's really nothing that anybody can do about it. So dress up in your Sunday best, embrace the spectacle, and be a Doll Face! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Doll Face!

Speaking of glaucoma, it's time to weed out our closet. For every 3 Freakers you buy, we're throwing in a free Mystery Freaker! Buy 3, get 1! Buy 6, get 2 and a free Cuppow! Buy a gazillion, get a third of a gazillion... and a free Cuppow! From RIGHT NOW until Thursday night! Go go go! (And yes, each Mystery Freaker you get will be a different style. Keep that suspense up! BOOM!)

If you live in Southeastern North Carolina, you know what type of fragrant mess Wilmington just hosted. Everyone else, listen up: We have azaleas. It's a flower. We have tons and tons of azaleas. We have so many azaleas that in 1948 we decided to have an azalea celebration. It's called the Azalea Festival. Unsurprisingly, it's a festival. Of azaleas. And teenage girls dressed up all-fancy-like. And funnel cakes. And alligator meat on a stick. And garden parties. With azaleas. Tons of azaleas. 

One of our favorite parts of working at Freaker USA is the absurdity of our Freaker-naming process. If everything goes downhill tomorrow, it's a pretty safe bet to say that we'd find the closest nail polish factory, hide in the corners, sleep on the floors, and manically name every hue in the line. On that note... it's Freaker Friday. Let's do this. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring soy-based artisanal candles from Pommes Frites Candle Co! Handcrafted in downtown LA, Pommes Frites small-batch candles are created with domestically grown soy wax, cotton core wicks, fine fragrance oils, and apothecary inspired packaging. With simple design and earthy scents (Amber&Moss! Teakwood&Tobacco! CAMPFIRE!), these are the most unisex-y candles we've ever found. Each winner also gets a Glaucoma Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: Imagine you run a fancypants candle company. Get on Facebook, find this graphic, and leave a comment with what your best selling scent would be named for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!