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We love America. America loves trainwrecks. If this was a math word-problem, the correct answer would be Dennis Rodman. If anybody missed the broadcasted meltdown last week, do yourself a favor and soak up the Britney's Shaved Head moment of 2014 right here. (Go ahead and fast forward to 5:15. For America.) WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 6 care packages to give away this week featuring Passport sized notebooks from Emgie Libris! These guys make every notebook by hand in Philadelphia with locally-sourced recycled-materials. They look good. They look real good. Beyond how good they look (which is incredibly good) - Emgie Libris books are durable. GO TEAM! Each winner will get a signature Passport sized Emgie Libris book and a Gosling Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: Let's pretend you are a news anchor interviewing Dennis Rodman during a meltdown. Get on Twitter and let us know what questions you would ask him with the hashtag #FreakerNews for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

  Remember that time we drove a boxtruck house into the Orlando Surf&Skate Expo, put RiFF RAFF on repeat and took saucy photos of your slaphappiness? You've erased it from all memory? Too bad. Here's the evidence. The Freaker photobooth from last week's Orlando Surf Expo is up on Facebook and ready for blackmail! Tag yourself go go go! Moral of the story: You people really hate wearing pants.

Do you have a skeptic in your life? That guy who does NOT believe in life after love. He does NOT believe in magic in a young girl's heart. He does NOT believe that politicians are alien lizards. He does NOT believe that Freakers will fit anything you'd possibly want to drink out of. Don't worry. We made this video so you can prove that guy wrong, once and for all. I hope you bet money on this one, skippy.

Look look look over here over here look Mom look! There was a fancypants surprise for us in the New York Post recently. We'd like to take this moment and thank Bloomingdales and Mister Pete. Maybe throw Nelly into the mix. Thank you Nelly. For all that you've done. 

Remember when life was just a bit more simple? When neighbors delivered cookies just for the funsies? When strangers said “hello” and children played outside? When loved ones personally embroidered your gifts and all of your house decor was just varying interpretations of a Welcome Mat? That was the defining feature of simpler times. Welcome Mats. Life is better with Welcome Mats. Let’s bring back the Welcome Mats and embroderies. I DARE YOU. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: : We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring a hodgepodge of creations from the brilliant minds of Edge of Urge! The top dog, Jessie Williams, has a new line of inappropriate embroideries named Fine Lines. We have two Fine Lines to giveaway, as well as two I Believe In Humans necklaces and an Edge of Urge original Shy Bitch shirt! All prizes are designed and made in Wilmington, North Carolina! Each package comes with a Freaker of your choice! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Facebook, find this graphic and leave a comment with what your future Welcome Mat will say for your chance to win! (Insider’s Tip: It doesn’t necessarily have to say “Welcome.” Hell, it doesn’t even have to be welcoming) Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

A.) We’re all over the dang place right now. If you find yourself in Orlando, Atlanta or Dallas for trade shows, track us down and we’ll shower you in presents, high fives, and residual dog hair. Ja Rule boldly said it, and we boldly second it - Baby girl, put it on me. B.) The new line of Freakers for 2014 is comin’ atcha quick! In the next couple of weeks, we’ll be releasing contests, giveaways and surprises preparing for the launch of our newest family members! Soooooon, my precious. Soon. That is all. OKAY LOVE YOU BYE!

It's a new year, it's a new you. This is your chance for a clean slate. Your questionable decision making skills? Those are in the past. Your regrettable "people projects"? So 2013. Those Snapchats that were mysteriously screenshotted? Don't worry, they poofed into oblivion. All those Freakers you gave away to the drunk guy on New Years? It's time to restock 'em. We're here to help you. The new you. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING THIS WEEK: We're starting this New Year right and keepin' it simple today. We have 6 care packages to give away this week featuring 6 Freakers of your choice! (Total retail value: $60) HOW TO ENTER: Get on Twitter and let us know what your most ridiculous New Year Resolution is this year with the hashtag #FreakerBeaker for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Once upon a time (yesterday) we screamed from the mountains that the 17th (yesterday) was the last day for guaranteed Christmas deliveries via the normal USPS shipping option! Did you miss it? Are you in the throes of shipping devastation? Don't worry! Priority 2-day mail still exists! You still have time! There is hope yet!  We love you. We believe in you. We want to wrap you up and put you in a tiny ribboned box because you're the greatest gift to planet Earth. Merry freakin' Christmas, y'all.

Oof! This just in! Freakers are going to beep and boop live tomorrow morning on QVC! Stay up all night and tune in at 6 am to get silly freaked! (They said our segment will go on between 6 and 7 am! SO MYSTERIOUS!) The first person to call in and ask Zach to take off his pants on national television gets a care package OF GLORY. That's all, folks. See you on the other side!

  As you have probably realized by now, we include hand-written personalized love notes with each order. With the onslaught of holiday chaos, we've been getting a little manic with our love notes. One of our favorite outcomes of the love-note-marathon has been an accidental series of Creepy Carl love notes. This holiday season, as you sit around and stare at leftovers with your family, we want to give you ammunition for table talk. Help us develop the Creepy Carl series and we'll pay you in Cuppow's new life-changing product, BNTO! It's a win/win for everyone except Carl, who is excessively losing. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING THIS WEEK: We have 9 care packages to giveaway this week featuring Cuppow BNTOs! We've been having a love affair with Cuppow's signature product for a while, the ingenius device that turns your canning jar into a travel mug. With the introduction of their new product, BNTO, the way we bring our lunch to work has been revolutionized. BNTO turns your canning jars into compartmentalized lunch boxes. BPA free and 100% made in America, BNTO will be your best friend when stealing your neighbor's holiday leftovers. Watch the video, fall in love, and win a free one. Kapish? Very good. Each care package also comes with a Fruitcake Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Twitter and let us know how you think we should caption one of our Creepy Carl love notes! All suggestions welcome! Include the hashtag #BNTOfox for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter! Some fine examples of Creepy Carl notes: 

I'll make this quick. Just to prove that we listen and care about your hissy fits... We're now offering FREE SHIPPING on any order of 6 or more Freakers from now until next Thursday! That is all. NAMASTE, Y'ALL.

Who got freaked this week?  Tilly's got freaked this week! Tilly's got super freaked this week.  Stop by any one of their 200-something locations to freak your fa-la-la-la-la this season!