Blog!

DID YOU KNOW that there are only two weeks left until Christmas? Have you forgotten about Uncle Rick's new wife? About that one co-worker who's name is just so damn hard to remember? Have you realized yet that you can take care of everybody on your list with fell big swoop?! That there is a Freaker design for every person you could possibly imagine?! FACT: Freakers are the easiest gift known to mankind. Now sit back and relax - Christmas is served.

  It’s officially the season for gifting chaos. Are you tumbling down a black hole of confusion already? Don't worry, we're here to help.

How is your Wednesday going? Bleak? Desolate? Full of despair and longing? Yep, classic case of the Wednesdays. Lucky for you, I'm a doctor. I hereby prescribe you glitter. We got new yarns! They are metallic! And everything was right in the world! BAAHHH-LINGGG!!!! Ladies and Gentlement, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... TWINKLE TOES!

I'm going to tell you a fairy tale: Once upon a time it was Black Friday, and for every two Freakers you bought, you got an extra Mystery Freaker for free! In this utopian dream, the fine folks at Freaker USA did not bug you enough. So when Cyber Monday came around, they yelled again and upped the deal even further. For every ONE Freaker you bought, you got a FREE Mystery Freaker! Worlds collided, minds exploded, and they all lived happily ever after. Of course it's only a fairy tale because we totally did bug the $#%@ out of you all weekend. One more time though, for the win. CYBER MONDAY: FOR EVERY FREAKER YOU BUY, WE'RE THROWING IN A FREE MYSTERY FREAKER!! Love you. Mic drop.

We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring Backsliders! Made right here in Wilmington, NC, these RFID blocking wallets are super thin and surprisingly durable! Each winner also gets a Gosling Freaker!! (Total retail value: $35) P.S. - Backsliders is in the middle of a Kickstarter campaign if you're feeling particularly frisky! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Twitter and let us know what non-essential item you keep in your wallet every day for your chance to win! Oh, use the hashtag #BackFreaker so we can find you! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

It’s here. I don’t even have to tell you what. Everyone waits. Everyone knows. Let’s get to it: STARTING NOW: For every 2 Freakers you buy, we’re throwing in an extra mystery Freaker. Buy two get one. Buy ten get five. Buy a twelve million get six million. For free. It’s madness. It’s chaos. It’s Black Friday. Let’s party. (Fun-town details: We’ll be packing in your extra Freakers manually, so don’t be rattled when your order confirmation doesn’t mention them. You don’t get to choose your mystery Freakers, but we promise to give you a good assortment. Everything is awesome, now go spend all of your money.)

Just a heads up to all you ugly sweater enthusiasts - Shirt WOOT has 3 exclusive Freaker designs up right now! Going once, going twice, going going GO GO GO! Limited time only, so don't even entertain the whining-game if you snooze then lose. That is all. 

As you undoubtably realize by now, “Buy-All-The-Stuff Friday” has somehow turned into “Buy-All-The-Stuff Week.” We’re not going to follow the week-long sale-kick, but we will start a day early as a compromise. When you get sick of your extended family, pour yourself a whiskey and retreat to online Freaker-shopping on Thursday at noon for our Black Friday extravaganza! Gobble wobble, y’all.

Zach has this adorably quirky aunt. She knits mismatching socks. Up until last week, everyone in the office wanted to steal Zach’s adorably quirky aunt. Here’s why that changed: Somebody else had the same idea of high-quality mismatched knit socks and capitalized on it, because this is America. Everyone rejoice. Except for Zach’s adorably quirky aunt. You snooze, you lose, lady. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages to give away this week featuring Solmate Socks! Four of the winners will be getting those mismatched socks we were just geeking about. We also have 1 pair of mittens from Solmate that carries the same wonderfully mismatched concept. All are made in the USA. All will keep you warm. All will make your life better. FACT. Each winner also gets a Fresh Prints Freaker! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram and show us how you plan on keeping warm this winter with the hashtag #SolFreaked for your chance to win one of five care packages! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

We encourage customers to leave "special instructions" with their retail orders.  Not only does it add humor to the morning,  but it gives us a chance to make you feel like the beautiful and unique snowflake your mom always promised you were.  Last week we received this "special instruction" from a mysterious consumer:  "Please draw a penis of some sort with a mustache on the letter.   I would also like an autographed picture of the stachemaster Adam Keen taking a shot of pertplus from a glass harmonica." This was the result.

Remember all those holidays where your great-aunts, coworkers, and estranged lovers alike all tried to pass off fruitcake as a thoughtful gift? THEY FAILED and you know it. They know it. Everyone knows how hard they failed at being thoughtful. So this year, we want to give you ammunition to fight back on their supposed consideration with a Fruitcake all of your own. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the newest design to the Freaker Family… Fruitcake! You win. You’re welcome.  

Cramworks. Cramworks, man.  So there's this guy who makes our displays. His name is Carson. Carson Cram. He operates through his company Cramworks and primarily makes theatrical sets. Cramworks is a local gig. Cramworks doesn't have a website. Cramworks is just a guy, like anyone else. Cramworks just demolished any sense of achievement that we once had.