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Are you a wholesale account? Do you want the best experience of your wholesale account life? DUH-YEAH of course you do. Come visit us at our winter trade shows!

The NFL Network just freaked their feet! They freaked their feet. With their faces. Feet face. Face feet. FF x FF + NFL = !!! #IGotMyKickInABox

The human experience can be magical, adventurous, out-of-this-world extraordinary, but at times it can also be exhausting. Sometimes people just need a hug. Every now and then, they need more than a hug. What could possibly be more thoughtful than a genuine squeeze? An adorable hedgehog in a party hat delivering love letters. A hedge hug. Conjure up all your warm-fuzzies and send somebody in-need-of-a-hug a hedge hug today! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Hedge Hug!

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand." -Mark Twain Mischief! Intrigue! Cunning wit! Endless adventure! The all-American hero always seems to be a bit raunchier, rebellious, and a tad more ...criminal... than their cultural peers. What makes it work is a winning combination of bravery and humor. No, this is not about to turn into a plug for another dumdum Vin Diesel movie. It's a plug for a super rad Mark Twain movie. ( #GrowingUp ) WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 7 care packages this week featuring signed movie posters for the upcoming slam-dunk crime-comedy indie-film Band of Robbers! Tom Sawyer. Huckleberry Finn. Modern Day. All grown up. Petty criminals. Corrupt cops. Hidden treasure. Wild adventure. Absurdist humor. 10/10 game on. See the trailer here! There are six Band of Robbers posters signed by the cast (Kyle Gallner, Adam Nee, Matthew Gray Gubler, Hannibal Buress, etc) and one Being Evel poster signed by producer and infamous jackass, Johnny Knoxville. Each winner also gets a Freaker with another classic character reimagined - Genghis Khangratulations! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Facebook, find this graphic, and let us know in the comments which classic character you would want as a modern-day partner in crime. Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Whenever something (anything!) happens, people drown each other in the word "Congratulations." After a certain point, it looses it's meaning and the word morphs into a cold robotic auto-response. It's high-time for a rebranding of the limp Congratulations. Let's try: Your best friend has a little bun plundering their oven? Is marrying a powerhouse wildcard? Just graduated warlord school? Won the emperor election? Finally invaded Eurasia? That's wonderful! GENGHIS KHANGRATULATIONS! See? Perfect for all occasions! Say it like you mean it. Say it with ferocity. Say it with the might of a million Mongolian warriors. And also a Freaker. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Khangratulations!

Aeeeeeyyyyyyyyy yaiy yaiyyyyyyy!!!! Battlesquad southern comfort rages on! Best of luck to both Clemson and Alabama! We'll be your mother and reconfirm that you're both winners. Godspeed, y'all.

Everybody wants to change the world - the only thing that divIdes us is how. Some work hard to protect our oceans, some feed the hungry, some fight tirelessly for global human rights, some spend 100% of their time trying to repeal health care, some put on suits, some yell at people in suits, some bring art to the masses, and some just want to free Gucci Mane. Turns out changing the world is a team effort. Let's figure this shit out. (AKA WE COMING FOR YOU, GUCCI.) WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring Love Bottles! This company is ambitious optimism & fierce positivity in material form. The fine folks at Love Bottles are changing the world, in the little big ways. Here's how: 1. By donating cashmoney to charities around the world for every bottle sold 2. Supporting neighbors and community by manufacturing in the USA. 3. Distributing statistics / reality checks about the harms of plastic bottles. 3. Spreading love far and wide. It is with great honor that we help with this mission today. (Learn more about their sweet hearts & big efforts here! ) Each winner also gets a pair of Sock Lobster Freaker Feet! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Facebook, find this graphic, and let us know in the comments how YOU want to change the world for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

We'd like to take a moment of silence and throw our hats off in honor of the guy who wore Love Stinks Freaker Feet to his own wedding. Big hearts. Pooping little hearts. Back and forth. Forever. (via AdamClark!)

North Korea is the all-caps fwd email from your estranged aunt in Myrtle Beach. CALM DOWN, SON. #SoLonely

Imagine a world where all mobsters turned into lobsters. Happy lobsters. Happy lobsters wearing tuxedo jackets. With electric guitars and safety floatation devices. And they all live on your feet. Happily ever after. Imagine all the lobsters, living life in peace. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Feet Family... Sock Lobster! (Looking for the perfect gift of confusion, radness, and romance? Pair Sock Lobster perfectly with Butterface!)

You may or may not have heard us shout about our custom Freaker program in the past, BUTDIDJUKNOW that we have a custom Freaker Feet program as well?! These sweet treats pictured above were all special ordered by the jokers at Woot.com ! Want your own run of custom Freaker Feet? Call custom@freakerusa.com for a good time.

Q: YoGurl, are your knees wearing underpants?  A: YoGuy, are yours not?  Q: Shit. Help? A: Omg lol ok sure nbd wutever. Buy them here!  Q: I am now immortal.  A: Okay bye.