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Cat's pajamas. Ant's pants. Goat's gonads. Rad. Far out. Phat. The bomb (diggity.) Chill. TRILL. Trilllllllll. Language in pop culture keeps evolving, but nothing has ever truly topped the original cool-kid slang, "the bee's knees." Who came up with that brilliance and why did it make sense?! Try as we might, there has been a downward spiral into basic vulgarity (i.e. "THE TITS") and today we officially declare a new era of "talking good." Y'all ready? Let's git r' dun. What you are Winning: Their Henry Bottle Collection evokes the nostalgia of vintage medicine (read: HOOCH) bottles, and just like the olden times, the innards are vaguely flammable! (FACT: Handmade beeswax candles have a slower and more pleasant burn than medicinal moonshine.) Each winner also gets a Forget Me Now Freaker! How to Enter The phrase "bee's knees" is sooooo 90 years ago. Get on Facebook, find this graphic, and leave a comment with your new lingo to replace "the bee's knees." Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Our episode of Shark Tank is airing tonight on CNBC at 8pm EST!! Tune in for a good time, chickies. Also - Here's a wonkydonk interview we did with CNBC! Notable highlights: Q:Were there any scenes filmed that didn't make it on to the show? A: They cut out the part where the sharks started crying.

Breast cancer is stupid. It's stupid and we hate it. We want nothing more than to punch breast cancer in its stupid little face. We’re not exactly sure HOW to do that, so we’re going to give money to the people that do. During the month of October, we'll be giving cash money to the Pretty In Pink Foundation for every Babewatch Freaker we sell! Pretty In Pink provides financial assistance to uninsured and underinsured breast cancer patients with quality, life-saving medical treatment regardless of their ability to pay, and by this token - you do too!If you'd like to punch breast cancer in the face too, grab a Babewatch in the month of October! (Psssh: reminder - that's technically tomorrow, but we're starting today!!) We're all in this together, teetaas. Go team!

THEY GOT HITCHED!! (Yes. To each other.) Our Queen B & our Harder-Than-Drake designer tied the knot on Saturday! Eeeeeaaaayayaya!Perks to "your special day" include: chugging chicken wine straight out of the bottle. Because you want to. Because back off. Congratulations on a perfect coupling. Ya dun good, little birds.

When history looks back on the time and place we've all found ourselves living in, what will be the overriding cultural themes? There may be a lot of easy targets for the naysayers (*cue in Nickleback*), but we here at Freaker USA are officially optimists., and the craftiness of this decade is overwhelming. Have you heard of Pinterest? It's a place where women show each other how to make magical dolphins out of bananas. Etsy? It's where you can buy felt gnome costumes. FOR YOUR CHICKENS. This generation understand "crafty," and no industry has taken it to the extreme more than the fancypants booze hounds. And that is a great thing. Today, we pay our respects. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring the luxurious craft of Bittermilk! In their own words, "Bittermilk is a line of cocktail mixers made for cocktail enthusiasts by bartenders with real ingredients. Crafted and bottled by human hands in Charleston, SC. The labor is in the bottle, just add booze." And in our words, Bittermilk has figured out a way to put the luxury of Charleston's craft cocktail culture in a bottle. Which is impressive, brilliant, and ...heroic. Yes. Heroic. If you've ever had a craft cocktail in Charleston, but do not live in Charleston, you'll agree the that the booze wizards bringing Charleston's brand of cocktail to you in the comfort of your own home are heroes. Winners get their choice of Bourbon Barrel Aged Old Fashioned, Charred Grapefruit Tonic, Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour, New Orleans Style Old Fashioned Rouge, or a Tom Collins with Elderflowers and Hops. Nom? Nom. Each winner also gets a Freaker of their choice! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram, follow @drinkbittermilk, and show us the craftiest way that you treat yourself. Use the hashtag #FreakerMilk so we can find your entry! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

No pints, liters, gallons or pecks (*winnnnk*) allowed. Discrimination is so passé.

We all know one. A golden child. Identifying factors: impossibly lovable, contagiously happy, angelically pure, but still risky enough to be a stone’s throw away from Tijuana at any given moment. Here is our open letter to America's very own golden child, California: Dear California, Y U NO HAS MOSQUITOS? Why is the Redwood Forest level of Cruisin’ USA near impossible to beat in a school bus?! (You know what I’m talking about.) Norma Jean was Castroville’s first Artichoke Queen before she was Marilyn Monroe - DO YOU LOVE THAT? The word "SAUSALITO" earns you 3 style points. You're really pretty and we like you a lot. Stay golden, child, ...and bring back The O.C. SAUSANEATO, The Freakerteam Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Golden Child!!

Green eggs and dammmmmmmm. Breakfast of scampions! Photographic proof of why Izzy is so Dizzy.

"Wu Tang is for the children." -An ancient proverb. Rap music and video games have been a target of worryworms for years. In reality, rap music and video games can be great educators. Outkast taught me everything I know about our foreign policy in the Middle East. And do you know why aliens haven't tried to invade Earth in at least 20 years? Easy: WILL SMITH. How many of you have crashed an automobile because of a wayward banana peel? Not even one? No. Not even one. Because Mario Kart taught an entire generation how to drive responsibly. So really, the rap music + video games + children equation is only a problem because it's missing one important component: caffeine. D, kiddos. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring our local roast masters, Focal Coffee! Based in our hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina - these guys are amateur beard growers, professional coffee drinkers, and enablers of our coffee dependency. With only 5 months under their official belt, the chaps at Focal are certified caffeine hustlers. Their delivery fleet consists of two motorcycles, a big red van, and unlimited high fives. With a variety of roasts, beans, and fresh cold brew, you'll never have to sleep again. Livin the dream, y'all. Each winner gets a bag of Focal coffee beans, a bottled cold brew, and four Freakers to celebrate rap music and video games - Maddog, 1 Chainz, Shark Tube and Ghost-Face!! HOW TO ENTER: Oooh, the joys of little childhood rebellions. Get on Facebook, find this graphic, and leave a comment with a rap verse about your youth for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Did you come see us at Cali Roots this last weekend? Were you a little muddy, a little wobbly, a little nutty? Have you since written us in distraught when you didn't get enough Freakers because you were a little too muddy, wobbly, nutty? It's okay! We understand!  We have both the Ja Bless Ja Rule beardy boy and the guitar sunrise leftover from the weekend. The Cali Roots Freakers are now online for your wobbly pleasure!

One Christmas Sweater to cream them all by Shredder's Apparel! What's destroying the youth of America today? Rap music and video games? Oh. Booooooring. We've been using that excuse for over 20 years. That argument is older than Justin Bieber. Older than the tv show "Friends." IT'S OLDER THAN THE WORLD WIDE WEB. If we had followed the dictates of Wu Tang, we would all be chugging heavy cream and recreationally wearing neck braces for added protection. And video games? Well. A wise sensei named The Internet once said "If Pac-Man had effected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching on magic pills and listening to repeditive electronic music." Chew on that, naysayers. Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Ghost-Face!!

Our friends at Sun King Brewing sent us a care package. Let me confirm: when a brewery sends you a package, yes, it IS full of beer. The Sun King package puts one more reason on the list of why craft breweries are actually angels. ANGELS. Thanks, friends!! If you want to freak your brewery, we're here for moral support. Really. Just let it out. Come to papa. We love you.