Blog!

2016 was a wild ride, no? We've heard the worldwide grievances and how most people living on earth are ready throw 2016 off a cliff... BUT: it's almost over, it wasn't ALL bad, and there's a BUTT-TON to look forward to in 2017!  So pop that champagne, shake the booty, and get down like a real Party Ferret! Bring it ON, 2017.  This week only, Party Ferret is 30% off! 

Aye aye baybays! It's almost closing time, but don't worry - you still have time for a last call! Order today before 3pm to receive same-day shipping! Today is the last day the post office is guaranteeing holiday delivery for regular ol' First Class Mail. We ship everything from Wilmington, NC, within 24 hours of your order. (So if you're regional - you have even more wiggle room!) Wednesday, the 22nd, is the cutoff day for 2-day air. And of course, you can order Overnight Delivery on Friday (before 3pm) for a holiday delivery! See you on the other side, our little elves-of-glory!

Christmas is next week. Have you collected the shiniest lumps of coal for your dearest loved ones? Forgetting a certain last step? WRAP IT, BOO. Bah-humbugs and bearhugs - we're here to help. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring the holiday cheer of poop-paper from Julie Ann Art! A champion of the small-artisan hand-made movement, Julie Ann is pumping dry humor into the holiday season. What started as a hobby in her mom's living room has turned into an internationally distributed declaration of good-vibes and homemade snarkdom. We're big fans of waking up one day and realizing you're an entrepreneur, so Julie Ann's line of giggles is right up our alley! Each winner gets a sheet of poop wrapping paper via Julie Ann Art and two holiday Freakers! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram and show us your most unconventional holiday tradition with the hashtag #FreakerChristmas for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

There are three types of holiday folks: 1. Cheerful holiday carolers, ecstatic to spread joy as the UN Diplomats To The Holiday Spirit. 2. Crotchety crabs, drunk on disenchantment, with a   Bah Humbug picket sign and a bottle of whiskey. 3. I lied about the 3rd. There are only 2 types of holiday people. Let's band together to embrace our snarls and our scrooges! Misery loves company, and that logic transfers to Christmas apathy. So give your drunk grump an equally grumpy and drunky holiday Freaker!  This week only, Bear Claus is 30% off!

IT'S CRUNCH TIME, Y'ALL. December 25th is sneaking up like a crouching tiger, hidden drag queen. How many of you haven't started your shopping yet? You're not alone. (THERE ARE DOZENS OF US.) Don't worry though. Beautiful, universal, handmade, functional, thoughtful gifts still exist. We're here to help: WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring the perfect gifts from Bean & Bailey Ceramics! Nestled in the wonderland of Chattanooga, TN, Bean & Bailey is a sweet team of two that produces small-batch functional porcelain pots. The hanging crystal planters are particularly lovely: "the faceted beauty will dangle perfectly, displaying air plants, succulents, or even flowers with grace and sophistication." Christmas procrastinators, meet your knight in porcelain armor. Each winner gets a hanging crystal planter, and two holiday Freakers! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Facebook, find this graphic, and leave a comment with the most thoughtful gift you've received for your chance to win! Help procrastinators brainstorm, and let us shower you in presents. Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Are you an unrelenting weirdo, an unbounded patriot, and unclothed naredowell? Same. For a limited time only, grab a Freaker shirt of Zach riding naked on a whole lotta FREEDOM and get a free pair of mystery Freaker Feet socks! (Made in the USA, duh.) Home Of The Brave, Land Of The Freaks, y'all.

Have you been yearning for a saucy and mysterious romance? We thought you'd never ask. Do you love surprises? WHAT ABOUT 10 OF THEM? Introducing: Freaker Mystery Packs for only $29.99 (that's 70% off!) Each pack comes with 10 unknown-designs, AND 1 of them will be an unreleased newbie from the 2017 line! Freaker Feet Mystery Packs are also $29.99 (over 60% off!) and each comes with 5 secret design treats!

We're officially in the war trenches of holiday season. Long travels + extended family + icy weather + shorter days + christmas lists + expected & unconditional holiday cheer = you deserve a drink. Make sure it's a good one. We're here to help. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring boozy infusion kits from Vena's Fizz House! Nestled in the romanticism of Portland's small business community, Vena's Fizz House offers a sip of nostalgia with their craft soda bar & cocktail shop.Lucky for the rest of us non-Portlanders, Vena's Fizz also offers booze infusion kits with zero chemicals, preservatives, or high fructose corn syrups. The kits use freeze dried fruits, herbs, and bitter infused sugar cubes to flavor your alcohol. Each winner gets a Infusion Kit from Vena's Fizz House, and two holiday Freakers! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram and show us what keeps you sane during the holiday season. Use the hashtag #FreakerFizz for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Did you enjoy your long weekend? Would it have been better if your toe tootsies weren't so chilly? We've got solutions to all of your feety problems!  For every product you buy today, were throwing in a BOGO mystery pair of socks!  Buy a Freaker, get a mystery pair of socks!  Buy a pair of Freaker feet, get a free mystery pair!  Buy a million Freakers and socks, get a million freebies!  Happy happy happiness to you!!,

  The place is here, the time is now. Black Friday weekend has officially begun and OH DANG OH DANG OH DANG we have some treats for you!  We're offering mountains of Free Freakers and Freaker Feet! Here's the rundown:  FREAKERS: Buy 5 Freakers, get 5 free mystery Freakers! Buy 10, get 10 mysteries. Buy 69, get 69. Buy a gazillion, get a gazillion.  FREAKER FEET:  Buy 3 pairs of Freaker Feet, get 3 pairs of free mystery designs! Buy 6, get 6 mysteries. To infinity, and beyond.  No code necessary! We're adding in all of your extra gifts by hand! Let us shower you in presents. LET US LOVE YOU.  (Happy Thanksgiving!!!)

Thanksgiving is next week. NEXT. WEEK. I hope you've been practicing stomach-expansion exercises and weird-uncle debate prep because the holidays are pummeling your way at the speed of light.  BONE APPLE TEA!  WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 5 care packages this week featuring the nom-nom all-stars, Short Stack Editions!  Short Stack Editions is a series of small-format cookbooks authored by America's top culinary talents. Each book is packed with original, home kitchen-tested recipes that offer new ways to enjoy your favorite ingredients. Each Short Stack focuses on a single ingredient and is written by a single author. High fives and lip smacks for stellar design, tasty treats, and holiday festivities! Each winner gets a Finger Food Freaker and a pack of Short Stacks featuring 3 editions: Maple Syrup, Apples, and Sweet Potatoes! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram and show us fun things YOU do with food. Use the hashtag #ShortStackFood for your chance to win! Winners announced in our Tuesday newsletter!

Thanksgiving: A time of gratitude. Family. Shoveling an ungodly amount of food into your face. Nostalgia. Sporks. Extra pudding, please. Weird uncles. Finger food. Stomach explosions. Gobble wobble, y'all. This week only, Finger Food is 30% off!