Blog!

Wikki wikki wiki wild wiki wild wiki Wild Wild West. Jim West. Desperado. Rough rider. No you don't want nada.  You know what I'm talking about. Got that Big Willie Style.  (Okay, so, technically Wild Wild West was on WILLENIUM, but anybody that would get mad over Will Smith Discography is automatically a new best friend in our books.)  Get your own Big Willie style here! 

My name’s Forrest Dump. People call me Forrest Dump. Life is like a box of chocolates ...scattered about in a field of flowers. You never know what you might step in. Poo skid is as poo skid does. Me and Jenny goes together like foxes and ferrets. Funnnnn, Forrest, FUN! Ahem... Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Forrest Dump!

  We live in a very special country with very special people and very special places. Today is a special day where we come together and thank the special forces that help make Amurica great. Our hats are off to you, veterans. In celebration, we've freaked every state in the union!! There's no place like home, little chickies.(You may have already seen a couple of them, but understand that we're excitable people and couldn't help ourselves. THIS IS AMERICA.) Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest members of the Freaker Family... The Greetings From line!!

It's growing season! November is a time of gratitude, family feasts, and growing a ridiculous mustache for children's charities.  This limited edition of mustached joy-warriors can be found exclusively at Edge of Urge and 100% of the proceeds goes to Mustaches For Kids! GO GROW GO TEAM!

Before the internet age, it was only politicians that had strange details about them recorded indefinitely. Here are some of the greats from some of the greats: George Washington loved his pets. Some of his favorites included dogs named Drunkard, Tipsy, Vulcan and Sweetlips. SWEETLIPS.  Thomas Jefferson's wine cellar was 17 ½ feet long, 15 feet wide, and 10 feet high. Tommyboy really really really liked wine. Theodore Roosevelt was shot during a speech in Milwaukee. "I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot," he told the audience. "I give you my word, I do not care a rap about being shot; not a rap." He finished his 90 minute speech with bullet lodged in his chest. Not giving a rap. Like a boss. Abraham Lincoln once gave us this wisdom: "No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." And with that, you have the glory of Mt. Rushmore. Happy Election Day, America! Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Mt. Crushmore!

Thanksgiving is a time of gratitude, family, and stuffing your face to the point of explosion. It's also a time of getting back to your roots. And you would be lying if you said your roots didn't include "finger food." Finger Food is one of the most satisfying eating experiences in the history of eating things, and it would be a shame if that wasn't properly celebrated. Don't be ashamed. It's the natural way. Finger your food today! Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Finger Food!

Love them, hate them, or megh them - politics are weird. They're super weird. Undeniably weird. The only thing weirder than our modern political system is our modern political system SECRETLY RUN BY SHAPE-SHIFTING ALIEN LIZARD OVERLORDS. Fact: 4% of Americans (12 million people) believe that underneath those perfectly gelled hairdos, politicians are actually Reptilian tyrants from another planet. ... And that is a fact to celebrate. Tell your political junkies, lawyer friends, and debate drinking-buddies the good news. Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Poli Sci-Fi!

Do you like feeding hungry school children? TRICK QUESTION! Of course you do. Nourish NC! is here to make your wishful nutrition giving a reality. Specialty Freakers are now available at Edge of Urge and 100% of the proceeds goes to Nourish NC's backpack program! Saving the world, one apple at a time. Get that special educational philanthropist in your life a Nourish Freaker here!!

Sauces are arguably the greatest edible things ever invented. I know, I know - pizza, tacos, and chicken fried waffle enthusiasts are prone to disagree, but sauce is what makes all of those things great. Today we want to celebrate an underrated sauce source. Pancakes are a shining light in this dark cold world. Syrup is the halo to the pancake angel. (Yes. Syrup is sauce. Maybe the sauciest of sauces.) Can we get a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the holy Sizzurp? Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Sizzurp!

The English language has this oneeeee word that everybody is enthralled with. Other languages have infinite words for our one English word, which may explain why nobody in the English language can totally pin down the definition of that one word. The old saying goes:   "LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND. IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD. IT DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS, IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED, IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES."   So. What you're telling me... is that love is a manatee? FINALLY, SOME CLARITY. We love manatee. Manatee love orange. All is love. Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Manneater!

Breast cancer is stupid. It's stupid and we hate it. We want nothing more than to punch breast cancer in its stupid little face. We’re not exactly sure HOW to do that, so we’re going to give money to the people that do. During the month of October, we'll be giving cash money to the Pretty In Pink Foundation for every Babewatch Freaker we sell! Pretty In Pink provides financial assistance to uninsured and underinsured breast cancer patients with quality, life-saving medical treatment regardless of their ability to pay, and by this token - you do too!If you'd like to punch breast cancer in the face too, grab a Babewatch in the month of October! (Psssh: reminder - that's technically tomorrow, but we're starting today!!) We're all in this together, teetaas. Go team!

We all know one. A golden child. Identifying factors: impossibly lovable, contagiously happy, angelically pure, but still risky enough to be a stone’s throw away from Tijuana at any given moment. Here is our open letter to America's very own golden child, California: Dear California, Y U NO HAS MOSQUITOS? Why is the Redwood Forest level of Cruisin’ USA near impossible to beat in a school bus?! (You know what I’m talking about.) Norma Jean was Castroville’s first Artichoke Queen before she was Marilyn Monroe - DO YOU LOVE THAT? The word "SAUSALITO" earns you 3 style points. You're really pretty and we like you a lot. Stay golden, child, ...and bring back The O.C. SAUSANEATO, The Freakerteam Ladies & Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Golden Child!!