Blog!

Mayday mayday! Things got a little risqué over the weekend and all of our Baberaham Lincolns were sucked dry. From now until Thursday, we'll be including an Ol' Glory with every 3 Freakers you order instead of Baberaham! Kapish? Kapish!

Once upon a time there was an epic battle. It went a little something like this: Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel, Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel…. Kramer: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday… I feel YOU, Kramer. And also Wednesday. Let's climb that proverbial weekday hill together. Today, we're celebrating the wonkiness and splendor of the much under-appreciated midweek. Keep doin you, Hump Day... ya weirdo. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Hump Day!

We keep hearing that bacon is a trend. A novelty. A passing of the wind. To be fair, there are multiple things passing in the wind when it comes to fatty fried fad foods - but let's leave bacon out of this. Bacon is here to stay. Bacon is eternal. Bacon is love. And you know it. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Don't Go Bacon My Heart!

If you're the type of person that believes Pharrell is a prophet, then you already expect that this summer is destined for joy. If you're the type of person who throws on the nearest puffy shirt and incoherently gyrates on a boat of pirate "actors," you already KNOW that this summer is destined for joy.Whoever you are, whatever you do, and however you do it - everything is a better with a little waving of your Happy Flag. Wave it up and down. Wave it all around. You know what I'm talking about - livin la vida loca, ayeeee! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Happy Flag!

Did you know that today is Cuban Independence Day?! Probably not, because there are multiple Cuban Independence Days. So let's just celebrate old cars, saucy music, and heaps of glitter! That's right, Papa Hemingway. Cuba is back! This time in glitter yarns. And that's something we can all fist-pump without controversy. Mojitos for all! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm re-welcome to a returning member of the Freaker family… Cuba!

We are more than excited to reintroduce the Freaker LULZ Line. LULZ Line: a limited-edition internet-only collection of Freakers! You can find a charming owl Freaker at your neighborhood boutique, but designs like an-alpaca-smoking-a-cigarette-with-laser-eyes-staring-at-a-girl-butt will stay quarantined in their motherland: the internet. Our latest LULZ is a tribute to filthy Houston rap, the misuse of Sprite, and the cough syrup that may or may not have put Lil Wayne in a coma simply because it felt like doing so. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family… Triple Cup!

We have three new whoppers for you this afternoon! Common themes: they're all pseudo-legendary, tastefully outdated, and slightly creepy. Hooray! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest members of the Freaker family... Science Fair, Private Eyes, and Enrique!

Eenie Etsy Minee Mo! Etsy got superfreaked! Earth Day was last week, and our friends at Etsy lived up to their reputation by celebrating with small business, innovation, and jubilation. The little birds teamed up with both Freaker and Cuppow, then started a Cup Exchange Program at their headquarters in Brooklyn. The program in their own words:

Our northern neighbors don't get enough credit for their sense of humor, and trust me, it's all humor. (With the arguable exception of Neil Young.) PROOF: Pamela Anderson. Extreme manners. Keanu Reeves. EH? Drake. The word "Ogopogo." Rob Ford. CELINE. DION. With equal parts love and jest, it's time to celebrate our eagle's tophat and its all-encompassing hilarity. Ladies & Gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest Freaker in the family... Oh Canada!

This weekend is going to be weird. We know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. Nobody is admitting it. Giant Pastel Bunnies + Bob Marley + Egg Hunts + Glaucoma = Easter Sunday falls on April 20th. It sounds like a circus, and there's really nothing that anybody can do about it. So dress up in your Sunday best, embrace the spectacle, and be a Doll Face! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Doll Face!

Now listen up, guys. We'd like to make some clarifications. April 20th is NOT a celebration of glaucoma. I don't know where you people get off, having couch-and-nachos-and-cartoon parties in honor of a horrible eye condition. Doritos? DORITOS?!  But whatever. You guys evidently love glaucoma, and we evidently love you. So here - we made this one just for you. Legal Eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Glaucoma!

Friendly reminder: It's April Fools day. We're going to spare you from all of the rancid pranks we considered, because frankly, nothing is weirder than the truth. This one is dedicated to all those times where you DO get fooled. For the times when the simple things stump you. When somebody jumps out of the dark and grabs you. For the golden moments when you realize that you left the pooper scooper at home.Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family.. Oh Shit!