Blog!

George Michael Bluth once said that breakfast is the most important thing that you eat. We took this wisdom to heart and partnered up with a hometown favorite for the newest design in our internet-only Lulz Line! Give a warm welcome to the newest addition to the Freaker Family - Dixie Grill!! This little booger is available online or if you find yourself in the area, go grab one at the namesake itself - The Dixie Grill at 116 Market St, Wilmington, NC! OM NOM NOM NOM!

HOLY LEDERHOSEN!!!  Sometimes it's easy to get distracted from the true meaning of October. The trees try to soil you with temptation by turning their leaves with provocative colors.  Human relations are skewed because all the men are suddenly Heath Ledger and the women pretend to have medical degrees.  Even Trader Joe's is out to get you with their sly trickery of pumpkin flavored everything. But don't be misled so easily! Have some respect! Get back to the roots! There is a REASON for the season, people!  That reason is beer.  And silly overalls. Das German overalls! These limited edition lederhosen Freakers are exclusive to our friends at Woot.com and they come free with every shirt order from now until October 23rd as part of their Shirtoberfest special! 

It's been a lonely couple of weeks, but we somehow survived. Our favorite fat cat is back in stock and ready to freak! Give a warm Welcome Home to the lovely Lucille III ...but please don't tell her we called her fat. Also! If you've been entering our Freaker Friday giveaway contests, but don't know whether or not if you've won, here's a friendly tip: All of our winners are announced in our Tuesday newsletters! Are you signed up?! Join the party of champions!

We're two weeks into football season, which is great news for some, a blaise "who-cares" for a few, and HORRIFYING DOWNPOUR OF DISAPPOINTMENT for the sad bunches WHOSE TEAMS ARE PLAYING LIKE WUSSIES. Whatever category you fall into will determine your excitement level when we scream about Laces Out at approximately right now: LACES OUT! GO TEAM! (Or "@#%* YOU, TEAM!" Whichever is most relevant.)

Autumn is a magical place where dreams come true. Where the grumpy lawyer doesn't have to hide behind a suited mask to be a vampire. Where the little girl who's always wanted to be a scandalous nurse can finally feel accomplished without that pesky institution called "medical school." Where you can live out your secret aspirations without needing a valid explanation. This autumn, our aspirations had something to do with Wu Tang furiously eating pellets. On that note, it is with honor and celebration that we introduce to you the newest member of the Freaker family: GHOST-FACE!

We've been waiting for this day. We were waiting for this day before we knew it could even exist. But it's finally here. And we want to share this moment with you. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great honor and ecstatic duty that we introduce the newest Freaker in the family: Alpacass. Your eyes do not deceive you. Indeed, you are looking at a alpaca. Smoking a cigarette. With laser eyes. Staring at a girl alpaca's butt. Alpacass. The Freaker. It is a good day in America.

Once upon a time, the Freakerteam engaged themselves in a brutal Battle of the Sexes over a mysterious being that goes by the name of Sexy Sax Man. Dreams were shattered, whispers were careless and at the end of it all, every party threw up their arms and declared that they were never going to dance again. NEVER AGAIN. Until now. Ladies and gentlemen, if you are in the midst of an inter-gender [insert definition of your choice] conflict - there is a solution. We have teamed up with the Sexy Sax Man himself to bring you the sexiest and the saxiest of all the sexy saxy Freakers in history! AND if you have trouble sleeping at night, know this: for every Sexy Sax Man Freaker you buy, you'll be contributing to his personal sandwich fund. Without sandwiches, Sexy Sax Man would become unsexily malnourished and lack the energy to sex and sax all of your woes away! For those of you who have not been saxified, here is a revolutionary present for you.

Popular sayings are not popular just because they were the cheerleaders in vocabulary high school. They are popular because they are awesome. And true. "Bite the bullet" exists because, as everyone knows, your teeth are bulletproof. "The whole 9 yards" would not be a colloquialism if it was possible to have 10 yards in the English system of measurement. "YOLO" wouldn't be filled with so much wisdom if you were a cat. The words "Christmas in July" would have never been spoken if we weren't unveiling five new Freaker designs for you today. Wait, what? BOOM, BABY. Welcome to the stage five of your new best friends: French Dip, MadDog, Truck Stop, Lucille III and Laces Out!!! Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas in July to all!!!!

Why so grumpy, Cat? Welcome to the Lulz Line!! The world-wide-web is a special place and we want to make sure it's self-esteem is in a healthy place, so we've created a special line of limited-edition Freakers that can only be found in shady corners of the internet!! The very first Lulz Line Freaker was an effort to relieve grumpy cat's grumpiness with a universal common-denominator: pizza. Find comfort in Pizza Cat during those dark times when NO, you can not has cheezeburger. (Spoiler alert: the grumpiness prevailed.)

I know you. I understand your hopes and dreams. I get it. And trust me, I had childhood aspirations of becoming a rapper also, but we shared the same logistical obstacles, you and I. Our operatic voices were simply too angelic to convey the right amount of "baller." And then T-Pain (And Cher. FACT.) came along and gave us all the humanitarian tool of Auto-Tune. Rejoice! In a rightful celebration of T-Pain's (And Cher's. Never forget Cher.) gift to humanity, we're releasing AutoToon today! Move aside, Peter Frampton. There's a new tribe of audio processing in town. And now for the winners of Freaker Friday....

Ribbons have been cut, ceremonies have been grand. Today was the day that we unveiled the brand spankin' new line of Freakers! Here's some tips for you, in case you're wading in the swamps of order-confusion!: From now until Monday:  Sign up for our newsletter & you'll receive a Free Meta Freaker with any purchase!  Buy 6 or more Freakers & we'll throw in a Free Cuppow! Because... why not? It's Thursday! Let's wallow in it!

Give yourself a pat on the back, internet. You did this. We wouldn't have made the brand new Babewatch without the frenzy of your turf wars. Remember this? Back in December, we found an old prototype of a design that was never run. Just for the funsies and without realizing the stark consequences, we threw a photo of our design sample into cyberspace.Instagram got feisty. Facebook became demanding. We had no choice but to listen to those living in the Matrix.