Blog!

Stardust Space Junk

Nestled deep in the land of the pines.  Freaker USA, downtown Wilmington, North Carolina, New Hanover County, North Carolina, Dirty South, United States, North America, Planet Earf, Space.   
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We're hiring!!!

Hello. Is it you we're looking for? We're hiring for 2 open positions right now: 1.) Accounting specialist! We're losing our girl-who-numbers to grad school. Do you number?! Let's rumble. Learn more about the position here! 2.) Junior Designer! There's a lot to be done & we don't have enough time in the day.HALP! Learn more about the position here! Perks include: Puppies. Working hard / Playing hard. Friday beer lunches. Not-A-Crappy environment to spend 40 hrs a week in. Spontaneous company retreats to the bowling alley.
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Bluetooth Invasion

Dearest backers, friends, and earthlings, We would like to formally invite you on a luxury trip inside of Zach Crain's ear. In this spectacular holiday cruise around Freakerville, you’ll discover the mystical (yet modern!) ways of a colorful community on the coast of North Carolina. Journey across the internet, get out of your old stink socks and into our hearts. On this exotic vacation, you will meet the good folks who you are supporting when you back Freaker Feet. They thank you for everything with the light of a million bluetooth suns! We have 21 days left to raise the rest of our funding on Kickstarter and we can’t do this without you! Please help us share and spread this campaign like butter across the world wide web! Come on in, shoes off, socks on, and let us nestle you! We love you. Lots. And lots.
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#BeyonceTheDog

#BeyonceTheDog finally kicked off her inevitable modeling career this afternoon for the newest Freaker release, Shark Tube. Here are some fun facts about your new favorite supermodel:  1.) #BeyonceTheDog is Mister Pete's daughter.2.) #BeyonceTheDog recently won the "Cutest Dog In Wilmington" award, and was featured on the cover of Encore Magazine!3.) #BeyonceTheDog's hairdo is more ridiculous than a shark in a tube. 
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Interkom

Little known Freaker Fact: As a child, our Director of Operations Alisha wanted to be a scientist-of-sounds. Soundiologist, for short. We're a standup company, and there's only one standup-company thing to do upon finding out that your accountant is probably an undercover sound-spy working for the revolutionary group known as Koozies Of Sound. We freaked her Interkom moments before she was able to covertly share classified state sound-secrets. And just like that - BAM! - Freakers saved the world.Again. You're welcome.  The end. 
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Freaker Cave EXPOSED!

We're not comparing ourselves to Batman here - we would never do that. If we were to hypothetically compare ourselves to Batman though, we would start with the cave situation.  The National Freaker Inquirer is proud to break this very novel story: Inside the Freaker Cave! An arguably-first ever look inside the brick chaos that makes up the secretive Freakerville world headquarters. 
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One Freak Hill

Our office is an old One Tree Hill set.  We never watched the show, but evidently we're the only ones, considering all of the White Girl Graffiti that lines the building.  One of the quirks of operating out of Club Tric: Soap Opera Vandalism.  Tree Hill Trippin, y'all. 
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Warehouse Wedding!

GUYS. They're getting hitched! Our very own Alisha (Head Babe In Charge) and Dallas (Designer ; Harder Than Drake) are engaged! Should we force them to do the ceremony in our warehouse or WHAT? Also relevant: MYBAD on the quality of the engagement photo. It was taken 2 years ago on a shattered iPhone and we have been refusing to take new ones because get back to work.
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Xhibit's Dream Office

Once upon a time, we built an office inside of our office. We recently decided that it would only be logical to build another office inside of the office that we built inside of our office.  Our eternal work in progress just got a little more progressive. 
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Street Cred Freaker Points

Yesterday there was a company decision that it was finally time to up our street cred. We've been associated with knitting circles and puppy lovers for TOO LONG and these perceived alliances have been detrimental to our toughness. In reality, we're tough. Real tough. To prove how tough we are and to gain at least 6 points in Street Cred, we did what was necessary: we conducted a non-break-in at our old office to steal back a Freaker sign. It was a stealth mission that required unlimited stealth, valor, and toughness. Here's how it went.
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An Open Letter To MichaelBarr

Dear Michael Barr,  As you know, we recently stole you from your ancestral homeland of Minnesota and threw you into the chaos of our baby company, Freaker USA. We know how tough moves can be and want to do everything in our power to make you feel welcome and appreciated at your new job with us. You are an amazing coworker, dog lover, and Diet Coke enthusiast. Your passionate hatred of Diet Pepsi has inspired a new sense of justice within every one of our cold bitter hearts and we want to thank you for that revival of spirit.  Some feelings can't be articulated with mere words, so here is our newest art installation dedicated to you, Michael Barr. 
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Quickbooks Uprising

Earlier today, our Quickbooks ceased to work. On any other day, this would have been a problem officially known as "not mine," but today is payday. Suddenly an accounting problem was everyone's problem. We started to become seriously concerned about an employee uprising. I don't mean the fun kind of uprising with brass bands & weird hairdos. I mean like 18th century agrarian business uprising.   Don't worry. It was well documented: 
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