Blog!

October is almost here, and that means that Oktoberfest is already here! (A calendar decision we've never understood, but accept without question.) In honor of the raucousness that is Oktoberfest, we'd like to give you a backstage pass to all of the name-options that didn't make the cut for this design: Prost State - Munich Nolte - Pour People - Wenchilada - Uma German - Bier & Loathing - Stein & Dine - Penny Weizen - Berlinny Kravitz - Prepare for the Wurst - The Prost Office. We love you, Germany. We love you, Bier. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Bier Jugs!

American folklore is pretty versatile. From Tupac ghost tales to Area 51 abductions (Will Smith will save us all) to Bigfoot dance parties, our great nation has great stories. One of our best involves a mutant giant lumberjack with a mutant giant blue ox, skating on stovetops and slaying trees. Paul Bunyan, the one lumbersexual to rule them all. (We just got back from an epic roadtrip across the country, touring with an all-time favorite boogy band called Harmonia Lewinski. We took a few lessons in tree hugging along the way, too. NSFW.) Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Tree Hugger!

The VMAs were this weekend and OH BUDDY, extravagance was flying. Nails done? Hair done? Everything did? Oh you fancy, huh? Playing dress up is infinitely more fun when you accept that you're a filthy hippie underneath it all (I'm looking at you, Miley.) Today, we celebrate the fancypants paradox that we've all played along with. Pigs are flying; let's party. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... Swine Flute!

Once upon a time, humans lived without the internet. Rumor is that everybody lived in troll-free peace. and the potential of cats had not yet been realized. Everyone was always focused on the task at hand, and the only risk of distraction came from people yelling your name indiscriminately. Nostalgic? NOONAN! Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Noonan!!

Party tricks are always appreciated, but let's acknowledge that some are more useful than others. One of our co-workers is eternally excited that she can "cross one eye," while another one claims that he can fix a shattered phone ...with his mind. There is a rumored party trick, and it was one party trick to rule them all. Once upon a time in the land of 2015, there was a girl who could turn yoga into wine. Every time she went for downward dog, a glass of chardonnay suddenly appeared. Cobra position? Rosé. Warrior pose? Malbec, obviously. She was a national hero and incidentally, today is her holiday of celebration. She'll take a latté. Namaste. Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker Family... White Girl!

YO MAYNE, do you believe in magic? Like, the kind of magic that makes your brain explode with joy? Some people give neurological explanations. Others blame voodoo. Some even call it love. What if there was a magical potion that put a temporary spell of cheer over you? An elation-elixir. A paradise-potion. A smile-spirit. WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY? It's near, it's dear, and it's beer, my friends. Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Happy Juice!

Hugs have healing power. This is something that we've always assumed, but science has only recently proven. Pandas have power too. Every time a panda is born, the internet explodes. Panda Cams exists. Oh, and how many times have you watched that sneezing panda video? Mmm? More times than you've called your mother in the past 3 years. (PS - Call your mother.) What happens when you combine the power of hugs and the power of pandas? World peace, level up. Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Bear Hugs!!

I been freakin, I been freakin. Endless Summer, meet Beyonce, add a splash of Point Break and pour over ice with a salt rim of Shark Week. Shaken. Not stirred. Bon appetit, y'all. Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Surfbort!

Imagine if all bullets were made out of peas and world wars were international cafeteria food fights. Foreign ministers were hired based on their sloppy-joe merits. Mustard gas takes on a whole new meaning. M*A*S*H potatoes. The winner gets an ice cream. Food fight diplomacy revolution COMMENCE. Peas on earth, y’all. Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to War & Peas!

Once upon a time, a wise sensei (Nelly) enlightened us all with the words "shake ya tailfeather." Today we act on his advice. We'd like to take this moment and shake our proverbial tailfeathers in your general direction. Here's a wink for your drink! Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Flirty Birds!

With last week's release of Jurassic World, there are now three types of people in the world: people who have not seen it, people who want pet raptors, and people who are lying to themselves about not wanting pet raptors. Even though we're not in the business of genetics, we ARE in the business of making dreams come true. Make way for the tiny arms and hold on to your butts, kids. Ladies & gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the newest member of the Freaker family... Lance Tiny-Arms Strong!

Heads up to all of our academic collectors: there are 3 new collegiate designs on the site now! Give a warm welcome to the University of Louisville, University of Minnesota, and a second design for the University of Tennessee! Go team go!