Blog!

Everyone has an alter ego. Some of you go to sleep every night solely because you turn into a flying ninja-lizard in dream world. Some of you watch Free Willy on repeat because that caged whale "just gets you, man."  

It has finally reached that point in the summer where something productive needs to happen. You have made significant progress, deepening the butt crater in your favorite couch cushion, and your brain craves more than the mindless droll of television. Like it or not, school is back.This semester we want to send everybody back to the classrooms with something to help those brains out! HYDRATION IS KEY! Today, we are unveiling these new super sleek Freaker water bottles! All you need to do to take one of these babies home is buy six or more Freakers!

Elasticity is a great thing. It pays the bills around here, at least. At the dawn of vulcanized rubber, people realized it could do something even more special. By tying some rubber to a forked stick, kids were able to send projectiles through the air a dangerous velocities! That's right boys and girls, we are talking about the Slingshot! WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: This week, we will select 3 winners who will each receive a Hella Slingshot! These designer toys (read: weapons.) force you to relive your childhood AND are made in the USA?! I'm in. All winners also get a Freaker! (total retail value: $42) HOW TO ENTER: Get on Instagram and use ‪#‎FreakinSlingIt‬ to show us your best makeshift slingshot! Our 3 favorites will be furnished with the real deal!

In 2001, Vin Diesel shattered the world of philosophical thought with the simple phrase "I live my life a quarter mile at a time." Citizens of the world woke up, bought neon Hondas. They drove them fast. They drove them furiously. I like your logic, Vin, but it's 2013. Your catchphrase needs an upgrade. Sexy Sax Man knows it. We know it. You know it. "I live my life 6 seconds at a time." One Vine at a time.

This weekend we roamed the streets of California in a boxtruck house with a national hero. The entire experience seemed like a lucid dream of imaginary playwrights. After what this fake poet would call "an eternity," the Freakerteam and Sexy Sax Man finally had their moment to frolic in the fields of glory.

We've been waiting for this day. We were waiting for this day before we knew it could even exist. But it's finally here. And we want to share this moment with you. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great honor and ecstatic duty that we introduce the newest Freaker in the family: Alpacass. Your eyes do not deceive you. Indeed, you are looking at a alpaca. Smoking a cigarette. With laser eyes. Staring at a girl alpaca's butt. Alpacass. The Freaker. It is a good day in America.

Are you a superhero? Irrelevant question. Of course you're a superhero. We're a superhero too. Do you want to form a superhero alliance? ALSO IRRELEVANT. We're forming a super hero alliance. Me and you. Us and y'all. Fighting the evils of bottle sweat and moist handshakes for the betterment of everyone, everywhere, for the rest of time. The only truly relevant question now is how flashy our flash will be. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING THIS WEEK: We have 5 care packages this week featuring Amazing Capes! Roxanne Turpen is a North Carolina luminary making capes and saving the world through the power of imagination! With the profits of every cape sold, Amazing Capes gives back to world saving causes, all while cloaking you in the power of awesome! Each winner will receive a cape and a Freaker of their choice! (Total retail value: $45) HOW TO ENTER: Find this graphic on Facebook and let us know what our super hero alliance would be called for your chance to win! Amazing? AMAZING.

Once upon a time somebody asked me "what happened to you in the desert, baby?" I have no clue who that was or why they were so inquisitive, but today is the day we answer their question.

For the past couple of days we've been in San Diego hiding away in 24-hour coffee shops named after a vampire once played by Tom Cruise. In a fit of sleepless joy, we're here to announce our event schedule for this upcoming weekend with high hopes of high fives! This Friday, August 9th, we'll be celebrating life, liberty, and all the good things with beer. Good beer. Impossibly good beer. Modern Times Beer is a brand new brewery in Point Loma, opened by a runaway from Stone Brewery. For the first time in human history, Modern Times Beer is opening their tasting room to the general public this Friday. We're going to be there in full Freaker force circa 7pm helping these fine chaps pelt you with hedonism!

Even though it was said that it could not be done, we stopped in Bat Country. Vegas just got super freaked, and the city of sins transformed into the city of grins.

  We like everything. Sometimes we reveal our true colors and say that we love everything. Once upon a time, we confessed our undying love for Oklahoma, along with our apologies and regrets that we hadn't always known to love Oklahoma so fiercely. Want to wallow in an Okie Bubble with us?! The fine folks at Ida Red Boutique have put together this A+ video about a Freaker life, living in a boxtruck, and slingin' grilled cheese sandwiches for the masses! "Why? We said it one time and then it felt like the thing to do. Because we said we were going to do it and then grilled cheese!"  

Everybody loves a comeback, especially when the comeback kid is angsty-teen dreamboat, Ryan Atwood. In a couple days, the world will be celebrating the 10th birthday of The OC. You heard me. It's been 10 years since you got all hissy about fictional characters in Newport Beach. In a true Sandy Cohen fashion, we're here to make you feel better about that fact.  We can't wait until Monday to celebrate, so we are giving you things now! WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have four "Sandy Cohen Sunset" Freakers that never made it to full production! These are the only four that exist, which makes each of them one-of-a-kind! Each winner will also receive a stylish gift from Cotton Snaps! These sunglass accessesories are Made in the Freakin' USA, and their magnets keep your sunglasses on your head while you are swimming, fishing, or just plain head bangin'! HOW TO ENTER: We all remember the void we felt when the show ended. It was impossible not to feel cold and alone. If they based a show on your life to fill their old TV spot, what would it be called, and what would it be about? Get on Twitter and use #FreakersHereWeCome to tell us about it!