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Did everybody have a festive fourth?! How many fingers did you lose to fireworks this year?! Did you stuff your shorts with hotdogs only to get kicked off the set of Entourage? (...True story - I'll tell you when you're older.) Did you roll yourself up like a burrito with an American flag and roll down Mount Rushmore?! PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. We want to see! No matter what kind of festivities you found yourself a part of, we're going to make the assumption that every person in America ate at least one grilled cheese sandwich yesterday. And that is why we've partnered up with the two lovely ladies at Smilelen to get you freaked and cheesed. Again. WHAT YOU'RE WINNING THIS WEEK: We have 3 care packages for 3 lucky ducks featuring a grilled cheese necklace from 2 sisters that make accessorized treats named Smilelen! You'll also be winning a Baberaham Lincoln and a Freaker of your choice! (total retail value: $38) HOW TO ENTER: Repost your favorite Independence Day moment on Instagram with the hashtag #FreakerCheese for your chance to win!!

A couple months ago, we were invited to give a lecture at UNCW's Business Week.  Hiding amongst the philosophical inquiries such as "Does your art director, Justin Mitchener, dream in Comic Sans? Also, is he single? How can I fax him?," there was a common question that we were not exactly prepared for.  A sprite spring-chicken of a student raised his hand and asked us "Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How do you plan to measure your success?" WELP. The long answer was a bit fuzzy, something something no-expectations something something take-it-as-it-comes something bla bla bla. The short answer was "Hopefully, within 5 years, we'll be able to move into a new office."  Fast Forward 3 Months: we signed a new lease for a new building last week! 

Popular sayings are not popular just because they were the cheerleaders in vocabulary high school. They are popular because they are awesome. And true. "Bite the bullet" exists because, as everyone knows, your teeth are bulletproof. "The whole 9 yards" would not be a colloquialism if it was possible to have 10 yards in the English system of measurement. "YOLO" wouldn't be filled with so much wisdom if you were a cat. The words "Christmas in July" would have never been spoken if we weren't unveiling five new Freaker designs for you today. Wait, what? BOOM, BABY. Welcome to the stage five of your new best friends: French Dip, MadDog, Truck Stop, Lucille III and Laces Out!!! Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas in July to all!!!!

  The day is today, the time is now.  Pete has officially decided what he enjoys to yell at the most. The DONUT-Do-That Giveaway contest draws to a close, and we must knight the victors with care packages.  We wanted to mail all of the winners a box of pastries, but we didn't want the post office to mistake our powdered sugar for anthrax.  We know for a fact that Freakers don't qualify us for any kind of security watchlist, so we'll stick to that. For now.  The winners were not chosen by Pete, but by the good citizens of Facebook! Any photo that had fifty or more likes is getting a care package of two mystery Freakers and the grand prize winner will get eight previously unreleased Freakers - five of which are being unveiled this afternoon!

DONUT-Do-That giveaway contest UPDATE!!! Today is the last day to vote with your likes on Facebook for our latest giveaway sweepstakes!! We could ramble on for years about how hysterical this has been, but we'll keep it short. And now for the obligatory NEW PRIZES post!: Any photo with 50 or more likes will get a mystery care package with 2 Freakers! Any photo with 100 or more likes will get a mystery care package with 5 Freakers!!! The grand prize winner (photo with most likes) will get all 8 new Freakers before they're released and 2 mystery Freakers - 10 in all! GO GET YOUR CLICK ON, BABY.

POSTER CHILD FOR CELL PHONE SAFETY Firstly, we want to recognize that this should have been up on Friday. But it wasn't. And I take full responsibility if if the lack of a Freaker Friday blog post completely destroyed your Friday. We'll offer you a voucher for a free counseling email if you so desire. Mah bad. ONWARDS: In the midst of our carefree summer, as we bring another week to a close, we wanted to take a moment to warn the Freaker community about the dangers of walking. (Oh, texting and walking, that is!) Click here to see an innocent woman terrorized by a fountain as she tries to text her friend. Click here to see her explaining how she is the victim here. Click here if regular news is a bit stale, and R Kelly could do it better. For this week's Freaker Friday giveaway, we want to get your eyes off those death-trap screens! WHAT YOU'RE WINNING THIS WEEK: This week, our 3 winners will get to choose a poster version of our cell phone wallpaper, as well as a Baberham Lincoln and Hawt Dawg Freaker. Each poster is printed in house with our giant printer(aka Justin's girlfriend)! These colorful babies will make sure that you run into walls, and not fountains! HOW TO ENTER: Get on Twitter and let us know how you are going to take cell phone safety to the next level! Why do you deserve to be a safety poster child? Use #FountainsOfFreaker and we will pick our favorite 3 to be our safety liaisons to the rest of the world!

In lieu of last night's announcement that the community icon Soapbox Laundro-Lounge will be closing in approximately a month, there has been a cloud of sadness over Wilmington. Moreover, it has been a reminder to support the local businesses that infuse communities with life!!! Vibrant vibrant life!! So we are here now to deliver good news! Good times and happy memories! Tomorrow, from 4-8, let's see your butts (figuratively or realistically, either/or!) in downtown Wilmington for Truck-a-Roo!!! Come show your om-nom-nom support for our local food trucks! There will be six food trucks in the Water & Princess Street lot, beer, wine, and sunshine! There are also three bands that will be playing on our Freaker Boxtruck stage!!! Before, after, and in between sets, our very own DJ Marwhoa will be providing you with what scientists call "SWEET JAMS." (Yes. We just claimed ownership of a person. Got an issue with it, human rights?? Admission is free, but if you want to eat food - and it has been firmly established that people like to eat a food - you can buy a $10 ticket that let's you try nibbles from all of the featured eat-spots! Full meals will also be available at each truck, if you have your heart set on one! Come one, come all! Come wallow with us, come break bread with your neighbors, come support local business, because we've all been somberly reminded all too recently of how important that is. OKAY LOVE YOU BYE!

If there is an establishment in your community that has inspired you, let them know. Support them, love them, appreciate them. Today our community mourns the loss of The Soapbox Laundro Lounge, which will be closing their doors on July 28th. This establishment transcended what it meant to be a business. Heartfelt and filled with love, we want to thank you for everything you've done for not only our project, but for the community at large. You made an impact. Godspeed, good hearts. You are loved. And now for the obligatory memory lane....

Don't be disillusioned into thinking that we here at Freaker USA live in a fantasy land of roses and kittens. Like any family, members of the Freakerteam have their internal disagreements.  Wolverine vs. Batman. Football vs Futbal. Pants vs. No Pants. You know. There is one thing we can agree on. One unifying factor to heal all wounds. Unanimously, without fail, we all like to eat food. At least one whole food. Sometimes all of the Whole Foods. . For this reason, we are extra excited about Whole Foods getting freaked! Here is a fully stocked menu of Whole Foods locations that Freakers call home:

On a summer day in 1996, the world changed forever. Independence took a new meaning and the freedom to life, liberty and happiness were firmly realized after a devastating war that ravaged our land and peoples. American men and women restored dignity in the face of ruthless invasion and then Will Smith used a Macbook to destroy big jerk aliens. On the anniversary of Independence Day, we as a people come together and celebrate our humanity and all of the liberties that it entails! That's why for every 3 Freakers you buy, we'll throw in a free Hawt Dawg design for free! Welcome to earth, freaklings. (Also! Our DONUT-Do-That contest is still running strong! Send us a picture of what you think Pete is yelling at and we'll include it in our special Facebook Giveaway album! The photo(s?) with the most likes wins all 8 new Freaker designs before they're officially released!! GO TEAM!)

IT'S OFFICIALLY SUMMER. Officially. As of today, it is summer. Do you realize the depth of what this means!?   BBQ season is here! And we have a new limited-edition vintage-wash Freak for 4th of July!! And it's Friday! And this week's giveaway prizes are amazing!! Now let's talk about salt and America! BOOM!

Don't judge a book by it's cover, don't judge a film by it's Youtube comments, and don't expect our blog titles to be descriptive of the nonsense we spew. In fact, sometimes you should expect the exact opposite. For example, the title above sais "Productivity Puppies," but in reality it should be "Distraction Dogs." Have you ever had YOUR office bombarded by puppies?! (If the answer is "yes," keep reading. If "no," stop everything you're doing and go find a puppy. I don't care who's it is, I'm sure they won't mind if you borrow it for a while.) If you said "yes," then you know how unproductive the Having-A-Puppy-In-Your-Workspace game can be. For those of you who are not plagued by this adorable virus, we've made you a photo presentation of this horrible ailment. OKAY GO!: