Blog!

People are funny creatures. Sometimes they make cartoons, fly kites, and try their best to spread happiness. Sometimes they break into your warehouse on a Sunday morning and steal your expensive cameras and 5 computers that are your tools for creating and propelling your business forward. Freakerville was robbed this weekend. Thank you thank you thank you to all who have been sending warm thoughts & support! Whoever did this did not break our legs (and for that, we're extremely grateful!), but they did manage to push us a couple steps back. If you're running low on your Freaker supply, now would be a really really awesome time to restock & help us regain our balance! If you're in the greater Wilmington area, the fine folks at Gravity Records & The Soapbox Laundro Lounge are hosting a fundraiser show! Seven (yes! 7!) amazing bands will be playing and the new revolutionized Freaker Boxtruck will be unveiled! We'll be slingin' grilled cheese sandwiches to anybody and everybody who is lucky enough to have a mouth and wonky smiles will be flowing in full force!!! br> Now for the magnificent band line-up! If you happen to be in water right now, this list will blow you right out of it. You have been warned:

The final countdown is upon us. We've been waiting seven years for another chance at unlimited juice, chicken dances, and law blogs. This Sunday, the nevernudes (dozens of them) return and in celebration, we're making a Freaker Friday celebration banner with a family reunion of our own…** **If you don't understand anything I'm saying, that's okay. We're not judgey. But please know that you're missing out on doing the time of your life.** WHAT YOU'RE WINNING: We have 4 care packages this week to give away! Each comes with 2 specialty artisan decks of playing cards from Theory 11! These beauties are all made in the USA, so you're illusions will be alliance-certified. Each care package also comes with the last supplies of a discontinued Freaker - The Linguist! HOW TO ENTER: There is a picture of Bluth-Banana-Zach on our Facebook page. Find the photo and leave a comment on it with your answer to this question: "What's Hidden In Your Banana Stand?" (Is it beads? BEES? The suspense… You're killing us, Buster!)

When you reach the top of a mountain, the typical custom is to turn around and look back. Looking back, you appreciate the terrain you were able traverse, the creeks you crossed, the bridges you built and burned.

  Our Freaker Fab packs are getting eaten up uber fast!

Do you hate Mondays? Is that your gig? Hating Mondays? That's silly because Mondays love you. Especially next Monday when you will be soaking rays of sunlight, smells of BBQ, and the sweet sweet taste of bald-eagle freedom. Bikinis, camos, and 'MERICA want to celebrate Memorial Day, so from now until May 27th. save $2 per selected style!! (Okay, also, Fast & Furious 6 is coming out on Memorial Day and you know who is in that? Vin Diesel is. Do you know what else Vin Diesel was in? Saving Private Freakin' Ryan. GO TEAM!)

  Last week, we celebrated one of the most anticipated holidays of Freaker-ville! Mr. Pete appreciation day has, once again, come and past successfully!

  With a few more rays of sunshine making their appearance each day, temperatures are rising and you're already contemplating taking the hit your AC puts on the power bill. The time has come to seek refuge at beaches, pools, creeks(cricks), or any such watering hole.

Freaker USA is nominated for the 2013 "Coastal Entrepreneur Award" after somehow "winning" the retail subsection award. There has been a general lack of concern in this office for what a "Coastal Entrepreneur Award" actually means, but as of recently, we've been getting some clues. Our updated "Award Hypothesis" is as follows: "Award" is when somebody puts your picture in a paper! For example, I want to reward you for being awesome. Because we don't actually own a newspaper, just imagine that this is the future so there are no paper publications! Okay! Here we go.... You are awarded!

There is a man that exists in America. His name is Jonathan Guggenheim. Mister Goog just unveiled his sneaky "I'M IN YO OFFICE, SNAPPIN' SPY SHOTS OF YO COWORKERS" series. We have no choice but to take a look. We're a little nervous, so please, join us in this journey.

We love Boulvard Beer. When I say the word "love," I mean it in the same way that a middle schooler might "love" the main character in a made-for-tv family drama (I'm looking at you, OC.) There is a strange mixture of admiration and enthusiasm, with tinges of justified jealousy because let's be real: these things are fake. Disclaimer: Boulevard Brewery, however, is not fake. It's a real brewery in real Missouri that produces real beer that makes us real happy. And for that, we love them. They are the Sandy Cohens of beer. You "love" Sandy Cohen because of his integrity and charm, but you are also constantly reminded of all the things he has that you do not. On that note, here is a treasury list of things that Boulevard Beer has that Freaker USA does not have:

Dapper dans and beauty birds across the nation are getting themselves in a tizzy today with the grand release of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby! Hooch is slingin' and giggle water is flowing! The bees have so many knees at this point, it's a little hard to decipher the bearcats from the big shots! Don't be a pill, we need your help! WHAT YOU'RE WINNING THIS WEEK: We have five 17' x 22' posters of the lovely Miss Adrienne in the full Fitzgerald ensemble! Each care package will come with a poster, a Fitzgerald, and a Freaker of your choice! HOW TO ENTER: Comment on Fitzgerald's product page! Let us know (in your best flapper voice!) how to tell the bees knees from the cat's meow! Winners to be announced in the Tuesday newsletter!

Yesterday we had the honor of speaking to a group that could be appropriately called "The Future." A classroom of 4th graders at Parsley Elementary learned how to freak appropriately and we learned that they teach "Entrepreneurship" to 4th graders now.