Blog!

Everybody loves free stuff & puppies. Remember this poster that our art director created to test our new printer (GIRLFRAND)? Well, it turns out that he never saved the file for this design job. Moral of the story: Due to an adorable neurosis, there is only one of these little (big. it's 24" x 36") babies in existence. Moral of the story #2: It's Tuesday, so let's give it away! Upload a picture of you and your freaker "Getting Juicy With It" to instagram and tag #freakdreams to enter for your chance to win this one-of-a-kind poster & a goody bag of 6 assorted Freakers! ***Okay also, by entering this contest you agree not to sue us like a jerk if we use your image in a blog post about how awesome everything is.***

We have a total of two office dogs that help make all executive decisions. One, Nelson Mandela is a sprightly little thing who's positive outlook and stick-fetching skills keep our morale on the ups. The other, Mr. Pete, is not as ...festive ... as the apartheid angel.

Once upon a time, we set up a Google Alert System to let us know when online publications used the word "Freaker" in an attempt to keep up with press about our company. It was through this that we came to understand how other people use the word "Freaker." What we have learned: there is a magazine entitled "Sneaker Freaker" that glorifies people's feet and what they decide to put on them (spoiler alert: it's usually not burritos), the word "Freaker" is a common noun used by teenage girls from Indonesia when describing photos of their own faces on the internet, and that a man that goes by the name of Keller Williams sings a popular song entitled "Freaker By The Speaker." It is that same Keller Williams fellow that got freaked last week. The Speaker of the Freaker by the Speaker now officially has a Freaker by that Speaker. DAYUMMM! That's a lot of Eakers!

Some people go to the gym, others start eating broccoli, but our sole New Years Resolution is to convince MailChimp to give Zach a new shirt. Here is a Freaker photo-journal of of proof that this shirt is worn entirely too often, and thus through scientific findings we have come to this distinct conclusion: We all may perish if Zach doesn't change his shirt. Our fate is in your hands, MailChimp.

Gentlemen, start revving your engines. Ladies, start snapping your fingers. The boys are back in town in one last grandiose gesture of rock-n-roll. This is the last shipment of Lumbersmack & The Dude before our new line sweeps 'em out in early 2013. So grab 'em while you still can and freak the night away! ENCORE ENCORE!

GUYS! If you're reading this, it means that you have joined the ranks of survivors of both the Mayan Apocalypse and Christmas Madness 2012. Congratulations! We are truly very proud of you, being alive and all. Most of us made it out in one piece, but there were a couple close calls (OF DOOM.) Pictured above is the view from our office window this morning during a tornado watch. Is there anything more post-apocalyptic? (Correct answer: Yes.)

The time has come, little lambs, and this is your fair warning: We are in the midst of creating an entire new Freaker line for January. Say byebye to all current Freaker designs, as they will be going on extended vacation soon - SPRING BREAK WOO!!

We're in the smile business and feeling a little frisky, so on every order (yep! every order!) we'll be throwing in a free holiday Freaker!* Spread that cheer, dear! Also, there are 24 hours left to order until the post office stops promising to get your care-packages to you before Christmas! Tomorrow at noon, little birds! *(While supplies last! Whoopi!)

The Mayans must have worn themselves out holiday shopping, the obvious solution being to doom everything right before Christmas. FACT: If only they had been able to give the gift of Freakers, we would not be digging tornado caves in a canned-food fit for survival right now. So here's our materialistic celebration that we are not living in a Freakerless dark age: We're throwing in a FREE CUPPOW on all orders of 6 Freakers or more!! Aight den. (*MIC DROP*)

Freaker USA & caseable are giving away 3 care packages! All you gotta do issssssss..... Log into your Facebook, find this photo on our page, share it & Like the companies, and we'll be announcing the lucky ducks on Monday! Treat yourself, Freak yourself! For those of you who are unfamiliar....caseable makes custom cases for your electronics! Have you ever wanted your mom's face covering your laptop? Keanu Reeve's mugshot on your iPhone? Anything you want, it's yours. Products that matter, hand-crafted in Brooklyn!

  Charles Dickens, although generally respected, had one widely apparent flaw: he was unable to predict the future correctly. His classic tale The Christmas Carol has touched the masses, but very few that enlightened enough to know that the story was unfinished. So here's my open letter to Charles Dickens: Yo Charles Dickens, I diggin your book. U know I got mad respect for my boy Tiny Tim, but dat homie Scrooge be trippin. Wuts he got against bugs? Why he always yellin about hummin' em? Dat be rude, bro. N-E-wayz, I wuz thinkin' you should know dat you left out a Christmas ghost, dawg. C, you gots da Ghost of Christmas Past, da Ghost of Christmas Prezent, and da Ghost of ChristmasFuture. U know wut u don't have? DA GHOST OF CHRISTMAS 4EVA. I gotta surprise for you, dawg. I happen to know who dat ghost is. Dat ghost is Vin Diesel. Wuts dat, Charles Dickens? U don believe me? IT'S DA TROOF N' I HAVE PROOF, DAWG.

Things have been a little hectic lately here in Freakerville, and when we get frazzled, strange things start to occur. Here is a photo journal of weird happenings that have been making an appearance in our office over the past week. As shown above, Justin had a "late night" on the internet and ordered a new girlfriend. She comes in the form of a 6 ft. wide printer and we wish them the absolute best together.